Monday, March 26, 2012
Shake it, Newt
1. "It's not only a great metaphor for campaign promises, it also works for first and second marriages."
2. "Now, suppose I convinced you this was an iPad and sold it to you for $600... that's pretty much how the Obama Stimulus worked."
3. "Yeah, I was surprised, too, when I found out Tiffany's sold Etch-A-Sketches."
4. "Mommy said there were no monsters, that they aren't real, but they are..." Oh, sorry, wrong Newt.
5. "See, you can make tits on an Etch-a-Sketch... you just need a very steady hand."
Best of Steve O
Newt finds the prefect medium with which to communicate his ideological philosophy.
Best of Mr. Right
Just at that moment, Ripley screamed, "Get away from him, you ETCH!!!" [Whoops! Sorry, still wrong Newt.]
Best of Spineless Vertebrae
"Well, Outkast told me to shake it like a polaroid picture."
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
This is what I use for my vows of fidelity. Find someone better, I just turn it over, shake, instant divorce!
Best of Double the U
...and here is my rocket computer for my moon bases.
Best of Rodney Dill
It has two knobs and the President's teleprompter has two knobs -- Barry and Joe.
Best of prince of leaves
And then his voice shifted to an unearthly baritone. "Just sign here, Jimmy, and all the world shall be yours..."
Best of Submariner
I had the perfect Romney attack ad but the damn Hispanic cabbie took a bumpy road over here, and, well... see?
Best of Jack Reacher
"I don't think these are even made any more. My campaign manager had to pry it off the wall of an Applebee's in Milwaukee."
Best of dadoctah
"Romper, stomper, bomper, boo, tell me, tell me, tell me do...."