Monday, March 19, 2012

A SCOAMF Every Day of the Week and Never Takes a Vacation


1. "Sorry I, um, stomped on your, um, train. I thought it was the economy."

2. As the elegant gown tore with a high piercing rip, Obama flashed back in a panic; it was that horrible Diva Night at Man's Country all over again."

3. M'Chel. "P'tagh! This gown cost 3,000 darseks! I ought to gut you with my bat'leth."

4. "It looked prettier on me anyway," the SCOAMF fumed silently.

5. The SCOAMF loved it when white women held open doors for him; it made him feel like the elegant princess he knew he was, deep, deep inside.


Best of Cat Whisperer
“Excuse me, Mrs. Obama, it looks like you got a little SCOAMF on your dress.”

Best of HLam
Had it not been for all the elastic sewn into the gown to allow it to get over those massive hips, PrezBo would have ripped that sucker right off of M'chel. The whole country breathed a sigh of relief.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Sorry hon, but you really need to use the shorter drapes from the East Wing, not those long drapes in the Blue Room.

Best of Submariner
Thawt bubble; "Why is that chalk-faced whore standing in front of a brother?"

Best of Dactyl
And then Axelrod had the idea for a 'wardrobe malfunction' to attract attention away from the Republican primaries, the rising price of gas, and the speculation about Tim Tebow's next job. In the ensuing riots, hundreds died.

Best of Dr. Doom
The President mentally pats himself on the back after successfully navigating the door. Moments later...

Best of Kaptain Krude
And with a terrible, dreadful rip that seemed to tear at the very fabric of reality, an Obama is revealed to be an alien. Also, M'chel'l is revealed to be from outer space.

16 comments:

Cat Whisperer said...

“Excuse me, Mrs. Obama, it looks like you got a little SCOAMF on your dress.”

HLam said...

Had it not been for all the elastic sewn into the gown to allow it to get over those massive hips, PrezBo would have ripped that sucker right off of M'chel. The whole country breathed a sigh of relief.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

STOMP! HAH HAH! Finally got that damned podium-trespassing rat!

-OR-

One of the sure signs of job burnout is passive aggressive behavior like that.

-OR-

Sorry hon, but you really need to use the shorter drapes from the East Wing, not those long drapes in the Blue Room.

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

"I be proud of america when a white women hold de door for me!" said M'Chel

Submariner said...

Thawt bubble; "Why is that chalk-faced whore standing in front of a brother?"

Submariner said...

In a typical show of obeisance to the flag, the SCOAMF looked down and away as he hurried past without acknowledgement.

On the other hand, M'Chel spit at it and laughed...

prince of leaves said...

M'Chel: "Unless you're Frank Marshall Davis, you'd best not be looking at my man that way."

prince of leaves said...

She must've been moving at a good clip to end up hunched like that from a little tug to her dress. Oh wait, no...she's always hunched up like the Sea Hag...

Dactyl said...

And then Axelrod had the idea for a 'wardrobe malfunction' to attract attention away from the Republican primaries, the rising price of gas, and the speculation about Tim Tebow's next job. In the ensuing riots, hundreds died.

Dr. Doom said...

The President mentally pats himself on the back after successfully navigating the door. Moments later...

Adriane said...

Now folks, be charitable ... Like every man, BO has put his feet up on the sofa from time to time ... he just didn't realize where he'd seen that pattern before until it was too late ...

Kaptain Krude said...

And with a terrible, dreadful rip that seemed to tear at the very fabric of reality, an Obama is revealed to be an alien. Also, M'chel'l is revealed to be from outer space.

Submariner said...

"Watch those big-ass feet, Kenyan..."

Submariner said...

ORA:

"The Mombassa and Mombassette of Crapper!"

Submariner said...

"...then Sarah Jessica Parker says to the President - Hey, Barry! Why the long face?"

Kaptain Krude said...

"Um, should I, um, should I bow to you, um, white woman?"