Monday, March 05, 2012

The SCOAMF, a Dirty Frakker

1. "Bat Cave. Five Minutes. Wear something kinky."

2. "The um, earlobe, um, no, not the, um, earlobe. That drives me, um, crazy."

3. "Well, um, I'm sorry you got, um, laid off. But would you like a job in, um, Solar Panels, Captain Stubing?"

4. "You know what I um, hate... a bald white guy. ... There's um, one right in front of me, isn't there?"

5. "No, cracker, your life isn't worth saving. See Secretary Sebelius for your pain pill and free contraceptive."


Carpe Phlogiston said...

Bald Guy: M'Chel said I could borrow this outfit from her closet to wear in the parade since you already snagged the gold outfit for your coronation speech.


pssst, your fly's undone... Going commando, huh? Is it already Bawney Fwank's birthday?


Undercover Secret Service Agent: pssst, the butler stabbed Miss Marple in the drawing room with a butter knife
O: Thanks! I get so confused when I have to think for myself.

Anonymous said...

"Fred, Mardi Gras beads at AIPAC? Ditch 'em."


Cat Whisperer said...

“Our plan is working perfectly, Mr. President. With everyone focused on the contraception issue, no one has noticed the Rogaine Mandate in ObamaCare.”

GregMan said...

"Somebody, um, get this, duuuh, zombie off of, uh, me!"

Whacko said...

"Hey Prez, how'd the phone call go with that Fluke chick? Line up any dates?"

blue said...

Obama autographs yet another copy of his latest bestseller "Gay Like Me".

dadoctah said...

"No, I don't see any infection, just a little wax buildup. I'm going to prescribe some eardrops."

Spin said...

"Limbaugh sleeps with the fishes"

shouldn't be ORA

prince of leaves said...

Obama sighed with disappointment. While Picard's offer was tempting, being married to a Klingon makes the down-low just a little too risky.

Dr. Doom said...

"Look Sheriff Joe is onto us", related the President, "I need you to find someone, anyone, who can properly forge a birth certificate..."

Anonymous said...

Sorry sir, its only temporary until the Secret Service gets your regular earpiece working again.