Monday, March 26, 2012
I Am Become Obama, Destroyer of Economies
1. "Hey, Look, the Black Panthers are lynching George Zimmerman. Payback, bitches!"
2. "Nope, still can't see a real economic recovery. Call what's left of NASA and hook me up with the Hubble."
3. "Look, on the horizon. Another community that needs to be organized."
4. "Dammit. someone over there has got to have a pack of Kools..."
5. "We can't let the North Koreans launch a surprise attack like the Nazis did at Pearl Harbor."
Best of HLam
Joe Biden nearly peed himself when Obama pulled the binoculars away. He secretly rimmed the eye holes with baby powder.
Best of Cat Whisperer
“General, thanks for promptly carrying out my order to disarm the entire 8th Army in advance of my visit. Don’t want one of you baby-killers to get itchy fingers while I’m here. Oh look, here comes the North Korean army! Quick, load up the teleprompter with my apology speech for the excesses of the Eisenhower administration.”
Best of blue
Boy, I bet even M'Chel could lose weight over there!
Best of Shayne
Hey, when you look through these things backwards, you really can see Mooch's entire a$$.
Best of Submariner
Thawt bubble; "Already apologized to him, and him, and her, and him, and him, and her, and them, and him..."
Best of Mr. Right
"Hey! Can someone, um, tell me where the little lever is that, um, turns the Viewmaster wheel to the next slide?"
Best of Spineless Vertebrae
ORA "Oh, this frame is a elephant. And this one is a rhino!"
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Uh, Mr. President, the DMZ is in the opposite direction.
Ahem, yessir, understandable mistake... all those people do look alike.
Best of Dr. Doom
Mr. Obama: "Pelosi, I can see an unmolested entrepreneur over there. Get your a$$ out there and slap a tax on him!"
Pelosi: "Oh he is a green energy sector campaign donor Mr. President."
Mr. Obama: "Oh - well carry on then."
Best of Jack Reacher
"I can almost see Carbonite's stock price from here."