1. "Hey, Look, the Black Panthers are lynching George Zimmerman. Payback, bitches!"
2. "Nope, still can't see a real economic recovery. Call what's left of NASA and hook me up with the Hubble."
3. "Look, on the horizon. Another community that needs to be organized."
4. "Dammit. someone over there has got to have a pack of Kools..."
5. "We can't let the North Koreans launch a surprise attack like the Nazis did at Pearl Harbor."
Best of HLam
Joe Biden nearly peed himself when Obama pulled the binoculars away. He secretly rimmed the eye holes with baby powder.
Best of Cat Whisperer
“General, thanks for promptly carrying out my order to disarm the entire 8th Army in advance of my visit. Don’t want one of you baby-killers to get itchy fingers while I’m here. Oh look, here comes the North Korean army! Quick, load up the teleprompter with my apology speech for the excesses of the Eisenhower administration.”
Best of blue
Boy, I bet even M'Chel could lose weight over there!
Best of Shayne
Hey, when you look through these things backwards, you really can see Mooch's entire a$$.
Best of Submariner
Thawt bubble; "Already apologized to him, and him, and her, and him, and him, and her, and them, and him..."
Best of Mr. Right
"Hey! Can someone, um, tell me where the little lever is that, um, turns the Viewmaster wheel to the next slide?"
Best of Spineless Vertebrae
ORA "Oh, this frame is a elephant. And this one is a rhino!"
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Uh, Mr. President, the DMZ is in the opposite direction.
Ahem, yessir, understandable mistake... all those people do look alike.
Best of Dr. Doom
Mr. Obama: "Pelosi, I can see an unmolested entrepreneur over there. Get your a$$ out there and slap a tax on him!"
Pelosi: "Oh he is a green energy sector campaign donor Mr. President."
Mr. Obama: "Oh - well carry on then."
Best of Jack Reacher
"I can almost see Carbonite's stock price from here."
24 comments:
Joe Biden nearly peed himself when Obama pulled the binoculars away. He secretly rimmed the eye holes with baby powder.
“General, thanks for promptly carrying out my order to disarm the entire 8th Army in advance of my visit. Don’t want one of you baby-killers to get itchy fingers while I’m here. Oh look, here comes the North Korean army! Quick, load up the teleprompter with my apology speech for the excesses of the Eisenhower administration.”
Hey, Kim Jong-un has more medals and more titles than I do!!
Boy, I bet even M'Chel could lose weight over there!
I see red people.
"I can see Arizona from my house!".
Wow, with these rose-colored glasses, Mooch looks almost human!
What do you mean X-Ray specs are just a gimmick?
Or
Hey, I really can see November from here
Or
Hey, when you look through these things backwards, you really can see Mooch's entire a$$.
"Nah, I, uh, STILL, um, can't see my, um, poll number..."
"Look DOWN, Mr. President; look DOWN."
Thawt bubble; "Already apologized to him, and him, and her, and him, and him, and her, and them, and him..."
Wait a minute; why does that soldier still have a weapon? No IDON'T care if it's just a slingshot! I order them all disarmed, didn't I?"
ORA only a military type will understand;
"No, I DON'T see the Bee One Ahr Dee coming straight at us! Where is it?"
Thawt bubble; "So THAT'S why there was a huge budget increase for Craftsman round tip shovels... Disgusting!"
"Hey! Can someone, um, tell me where the little lever is that, um, turns the Viewmaster wheel to the next slide?"
Political Beer Glasses
(only come in red)
ORA "Oh, this frame is a elephant. And this one is a rhino!"
Thawtbubble: Where da white wimmen at?
-OR-
If the deficit continues like this, I'm going to need to order NASA to reposition the Hubble.
-OR-
Hah! Limbaugh is about to drink the chocolate milkshake laced with Oxycontin and Ex-lax. That'll teach that fat mf'r to call me names.
Uh, Mr. President, the DMZ is in the opposite direction.
Ahem, yessir, understandable mistake... all those people do look alike.
-OR-
I'd like to visit that little country once the radiation dissipates. How long do you estimate that'll be? No kidding, that long?
-OR-
I see dead people.
-OR-
Lookie, Chel's chasing the entire NK Army into the sea! I knew telling her a Mickey D's was just on the other side of that fence would do the trick. Hoo weee, look at her swing that eatin shovel!
Mr. Obama: "Pelosi, I can see an unmolested entrepreneur over there. Get your a$$ out there and slap a tax on him!"
Pelosi: "Oh he is a green energy sector campaign donor Mr. President."
Mr. Obama: "Oh - well carry on then."
"Are you sure there are no microphones around here General", asked the President...
"Caution:National.Debt.Seen.Through.Binoculars.Is.Even.Larger.Than.It.Appears..."
EXcellent!
Carl was willing to obey the letter of Lenny's "100 yards" restraining order but not the spirit
"I can almost see Carbonite's stock price from here."
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