Monday, March 19, 2012
Monday Mornings with Mittens
1. "Like my jazz hands? I was taught by an actual Negro."
2. "I'm sorry, I was distracted by my utterly fabulous manicure and failed to hear your question. What was it?Something about being out of touch or whatever?"
3. "You! In the front row. Put your wiener back in your pants, for goodness sake."
4. "All things considered, I'm not surprised at all that MFM reporters think $3,000 a year is a normal budget for contraception."
5. "President Obama? Swell guy, love him to death, he's just in a little bit over his head is all. Rick Santorum, on the other hand, is an evil, illiterate, incompetent demonspawn from the darkest bowels of hell."
Best of Cat Whisperer
“What was the best thing about RomneyCare? Mandatory breast exams!”
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Wait! No! Please! Put that pie down, Rick!
Best of metalgarth
Despite what the media wants you to believe, I can't shoot lightning out of my hands like the evil dude in "Star Wars"
Best of USMC2841
They are real and they are spectacular.
Best of Spineless Vertebra
"Stay back everybody! Only I have built up the tolerance needed to withstand the toxic chemicals coming from the amount of hairspray I use."
Best of prince of leaves
A poorly-tested operating system update in mid-debate left the Rombot staggering about like Frankenstein's monster for the remainder of the evening.
Best of GregMan
"You are getting sleeepy... oh wait, that always happens at one of my speeches."
Best of Submariner
In the name of love...
Before you cast your vote;
Think it oh-oh-ver!
Best of Dactyl
I'm this many times richer than all of you put together, and that includes people watching on V or seeing this on a stupid caption-contest site.