Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Horton Catches Jungle Fever


1. GOP minority voter outreach efforts --- UR DOIN' IT WRONG!

2. "Welcome to Enumclaw, make yourself at home. I am sure you'll be very popular."

3. So, an elephant's truck can create more suction than a Dyson vacuum. I didn't know that. Bummer about your eyeball.

4. The GOP Establishment's alien mind-sucking device creates another Romney supporter.

5. Ang Lee's most daring vision of forbidden love yet.


Best of Carpe Phlogiston
In countries where the elephant is the primary mode of transportation, cops absolutely HATE being assigned to breathalyzer checkpoint duty.

Best of Dr. Doom
If you thought Amerikkkan TSA screenings were bad, just try getting on a plane in Nairobi....

Best of Dactyl
Gesundheit.

Best of prince of leaves
The FX in the climactic scene of "Prometheus" leave a little to be desired.

Best of Rodney Dill
Hoser, I don't even know her.

Best of Kaptain Krude
"I said, 'We don't want Romney!'"

Best of Silhouette
Horton Hears A U....gandan.

Best of metalgarth
Being a vacuum cleaner salesman in Bedrock was a tough job.

Best of prince of leaves
The most dreaded sandworms on Arrakis were the ones with Napoleon complexes.

20 comments:

blue said...

elephant's revenge

Carpe Phlogiston said...

In countries where the elephant is the primary mode of transportation, cops absolutely HATE being assigned to breathalyzer checkpoint duty.

-OR-

Watching a televised Decapitation by Inhalation being carried is pretty gruesome... except in slo-mo, when it's like a cartoon.

-OR-

Sgt. Mughombo was determined to find out who stole his bag of peanuts.

-OR-

Things you did not know #530:
The French Kiss was actually invented as a joke played on new recruits in the French Foreign Legion.

Dr. Doom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dr. Doom said...

If you thought Amerikkkan TSA screenings were bad, just try getting on a plane in Nairobi....

Dactyl said...

Gesundheit.

prince of leaves said...

The FX in the climactic scene of "Prometheus" leave a little to be desired.

prince of leaves said...

"Okay, but no tongue!"

prince of leaves said...

Wait...I thought Barney Frank was Jewish?

Cat Whisperer said...

The real reason why Obama doesn’t want you to see his birth certificate ... although it does explain his jug ears.

Rodney Dill said...

Charades with Bob and Doug McKenzie was challenging, to say the least.

Rodney Dill said...

Hoser, I don't even know her.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

"Can you hear me now?"

-OR-

David Attenborough whispers: Viewers may mistake that for an elephant's trunk, but it isn't! It's actually the dreaded toothless pachyderm worm poised to pounce on an unsuspecting victim and gum him to death.

-OR-

That is one of the fugliest Fleshlites I've ever seen. I think it's the Octomom model.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Elephant Thawtbubble: I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you.

Kaptain Krude said...

"I said, 'We don't want Romney!'"

Silhouette said...

Horton Hears A U....gandan.

Submariner said...

I thought "junk in the trunk" meant something entirely different.

Spin said...

Micheal Jackson's Elephant
Thawtbubble:

I can suck the black right off of your face. But even "Nip Tuck" won't fix that nose

metalgarth said...

Being a vacuum cleaner salesman in Bedrock was a tough job.

Rodney Dill said...

Bill Clinton, First Black President, The Musical -- written by Bill Clinton.

prince of leaves said...

The most dreaded sandworms on Arrakis were the ones with Napoleon complexes.