Friday, March 16, 2012

Engineuity

Schneider


1. "Yeah, looks like your plugs are shot."

2. Two people died smuggling into a drive-in movie this week.

3. Miguel the Narcoleptic Mechanic was one of the weaker SNL sketches this season.

4. Winter's almost over. Time for the Mexicans to emerge from hibernation. They will be hungry and ill-tempered.

5. "Um, you can stop looking for Al Franken votes. He's been in office for, like, three years now."


Best of Rodney Dill
The New Dodge CRAM


Best of Double the U
Dodge keeps using more and more Mexican made parts in their vehicles.

Best of metalgarth
Shortly after Peggy Bundy said "if you love your Dodge so much, go sleep with it" to Al.


Best of Charlton Heston
“Soylent Gasoline is Mexicans!”


Best of Dactyl
He may not look like much but he'll make point five past . . . oh, forget it.


Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Thawtbubble: "I coulda had a V-8!"



Best of Steve O
A UAW member, asleep since 1972, is owed $6.2 million in back pay. By you.

22 comments:

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Boyz Under the Hood, a short film by Jiffy Lube

-OR-

Ernie the Perv was always trying to trick the guys into "checking his oil" by pulling out his dipstick.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The Dodge Mule, comes equipped with a helpful illegal who hops out to clean the windshield every 300 miles.

Rodney Dill said...

The New Dodge CRAM

Double the U said...

Dodge keeps using more and more Mexican made parts in their vehicles.

Submariner said...

A-HA! An import!

metalgarth said...

Shortly after Peggy Bundy said "if you love your Dodge so much, go sleep with it" to Al.

Charlton Heston said...

“Soylent Gasoline is Mexicans!”

Dactyl said...

He may not look like much but he'll make point five past . . . oh, forget it.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Thawtbubble: "I coulda had a V-8!"

-OR-

Thawbubble: "Seats 6 comfortably" my ass!

-OR-

"Always in the last place you'd think to look."
The FBI felt pretty foolish when they finally discovered where Jimmy Hoffa was buried.

-OR-

It took a while for Chuck to comprehend why nobody else on the staff thought being chosen Front End Collision Test Dummy was a promotion... 3.6 seconds to be precise.

-OR-

Carpooler Thawtbubble: Damn, I never should have picked scissors. Rock beats scissors! Stupid Stupid Stupid.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Dad's FULL SERVICE Gas Station and Bait Shop
Well here's your problem right here. The horizontal franistan's slipped out of the torque modulator socket. I see this all the time.

-OR-

Things You Did Not Know #830:
George Costanza's Sleeping Desk episode was inspired by Fenton Squilt, a really lazy union mechanic for Chrysler/Dodge.

WordVerify: eclown - Any one of about 30 regular contributors to CaptionThis

Submariner said...

What happens to those who don't read English when Bubba steps on his mopar accelerator...

Submariner said...

I'll get them Duke boys...

Submariner said...

Abs was pissed; couldn't Tony solve even ONE frakkin' case without her help?

Dr. Doom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dr. Doom said...

New from Government Motors this fall, the Dodge Chalupa is the latest in hybrid technology. This vehicle replaces the power plant with an high efficiency Mexican itinerant laborer. Administration officials called it the 'hat trick' of Obama energy policy. It grows government, increases tax load, and outsources jobs to Mexico. In other news today, the President announced unprecedented taxpayer funded bonuses for GM executives...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

"Let the Gameplaying Begin!"
Romney and Obamalama agree to Compromise! Romney will back another Obamalama Cash for Clunkers gimmick if the junkers are offered as affordable housing to the millions of middleclass Americans the 1% have swindled... and as long as the current attempt to weaken IPO rules passes so snakeoil can once again be peddled for profit.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Two of the costliest, most energy inefficient and resistant-to-change items created with American ingenuity - the mass produced combustion engine-propelled vehicle... and the unionized worker.

Kaptain Krude said...

"Man, the gas mileage on this thing sucks!"

Kaptain Krude said...

"Eh, my gerbils were getting worn out, so I had this great idea..."

Submariner said...

"...and she gets three border crossings to the can of El Paso Refried Beans."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

In a misguided attempt to deflect attention from Holder's Gunrunning Debacle, Joe Biden implemented his own secret plan - offer drug lords a clunkers for cash program, then ship all 16 million illegals back to Mexico one at a time by convincing them they were going to Disneyworld.

-OR-

Hank, if you honk that damned horn one more time, I'm going to beat you to death with this socket wrench.

WordVerify: inforti - What a woman really means when she says she'll be read infive.

Steve O said...

A UAW member, asleep since 1972, is owed $6.2 million in back pay. By you.