Friday, March 09, 2012

But, Enough About My Clenis


1. "Pay no attention to last week's photo. This is my actual O face."

2. The exact moment a State Department intern wonders, "Is it worth it for a letter of recommendation?"

3. As Chelsea gets deeper into her thirties, the world rests easier that no child will ever have to face this "Give grandma a kiss" moment.

4. The last time I saw a face like that, Sigourney Weaver was telling it to "Get away from her, you bitch!"

5. "Once I ate a Muffin THIS Big."

best of Rodney Dill
Toldya if ya kissed Obama's ass often enough your face would get stuck like that.

best of blue
Monica's thighs were this big, just the way Bill likes 'em......

best of jj
Ms.Pelosi, you really think I'm gonna need this much botox?

best of Being best
"... so I took one of Rosie's cheeks, and I puckered my lips, and..."

best of Dactyl
In an attempt to show that his administration was in touch with Main Street, Obama's cabinet members started auditioning for Subway commercials.

best of Dr. Doom
"Yes Mr. Ambassador, I understand that India is shocked and angry because the Marines barbequed hamburgers at the embassy", replied the Secretary of State, "I'm sure President Obama will issue a formal apology as soon as he is done apologizing to the Russians for our harsh words after they 'liberated' Georgia..."

best of Submariner
"Once I ate a muffin-top THIS big."
There, I fixed it for you...

20 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

Toldya if ya kissed Obama's ass often enough your face would get stuck like that.

Rodney Dill said...

Arkansas sperm bank.

metalgarth said...

I need a sock monkey with a schlong this big!

blue said...

Monica's thighs were this big, just the way Bill likes 'em......

jj said...

Ms.Pelosi, you really think I'm gonna need this much botox?

Being best said...

"... so I took one of Rosie's cheeks, and I puckered my lips, and..."

dadoctah said...

"If you're happy and you know it clap your hands!"

Dactyl said...

In an attempt to show that his administration was in touch with Main Street, Obama's cabinet members started auditioning for Subway commercials.

prince of leaves said...

Having forgotten both her contacts and her glasses, Mme. Secretary had to fumble her way through the obligatory pre-hearing newsoming.

Anonymous said...

Best - Birth - Control - Evah

Dr. Doom said...

"Yes Mr. Ambassador, I understand that India is shocked and angry because the Marines barbequed hamburgers at the embassy", replied the Secretary of State, "I'm sure President Obama will issue a formal apology as soon as he is done apologizing to the Russians for our harsh words after they 'liberated' Georgia..."

Dr. Doom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dr. Doom said...

Hillary Saves the Day:

Secretary of State (spoken in a French accent): "Mr. Karzai, stop attacking American soldiers or I shall show you my 'O' face a second time..."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

AP Newswire, Washington DC:
While questioning the Surgeon General on the global STD epidemic, Hillary drifted off topic to her own BJ technique, and everyone was so busy chuckling they didn't interrupt.

-OR-

Things grandpa tells his grandkids:
If I win the nomination, I swear on Bill's grave I'll give every caucus delegate a big wet sloppy French kiss.
And this, kids, is the real reason why she wasn't nominated.

Submariner said...

V the K said...
5. "Once I ate a Muffin THIS Big."


"Once I ate a muffin-top THIS big."
There, I fixed it for you...

Rodney Dill said...

All your pink slime are belong to me.

Steve O said...

To make a point, Hillary mimes herself holding Barry's narrow hips and giving his tiny pencil-d*ck a BJ.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Mr. Chairman, I only said I came close to convincing that african dictator to sign the peace accord.
How close were you?
Well, um... during the... erm... delicate part of the negotiations... cough... maybe this close mostly. giggle I couldn't lock my chankles.

-OR-

So, Hillary, how close did that plate come to hitting Bill?
Missed his fat head by this much. If the agents hadn't gangtackled me, I'd have gotten him for sure with the second plate.

mpur said...

Duck face fail

Submariner said...

Taking down Amerikkka?
Missed it by THAT much!