Monday, February 06, 2012

Who Said She's Angry?


1. "That g'agH is barely moving. Rip out the cook's heart at once!"

2."Well, no, Mrs. Obama, I don't know who the f-ck ate all the mother-f-ckin' french fries."

3. Ever since appearing on Ellen DeGeneres, the smell of fish sticks makes M'Chel queasy.

4. "Tater Tots are 'The White Man's French Fries?' Wow! I learn something new every Black History Month."

5.  "OMG" thought little Selina. "She really does have the fashion sense of a color-blind lesbian lumberjack."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Don't butt in line? Kid, I'm not butting in line, the line always forms behind ME. Get in line and STFU.

Best of Rodney Dill
"...but Monday is always Haggis day."

Threadwinner of Uchuck the Tuchuck
"Yes Ma'am, the school cafeteria line is merely a series of items nobody wants but from which we are forced to choose. Kind of like your husband's failed administration."

Best of Double the U
Yes Mrs Obama, this what we little people eat. It wasn't until she turned fifteen did Isabella realize "little people" didn't mean children.

Best of metalgarth
Whaddya mean by "they ain't got no eatin' shovels here"

Best of curly
M’chell teaches the 3 R’s: Racism, Reparations, and Ramadan.

Best of Censors Hip
"What? No $81 Kobe beef?"

Best of Jack Reacher
"The warming trays are powered by Solyndra, Ma'am. So the food won't be, well, warm."

Best of Whacko
The poor child didn't realize until too late that the worst place to stand was between the Bitter Half and her food supply.

Best of jimmy
"Mrs. Obama, when I grow up I want to have huge man-hands like yours!"

Best of Rodney Dill
Don't make me constipated... You won't like me when I constipated.

28 comments:

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Thawtbubble: Dangit, they're all out of cornrats on a stick.

-OR-

Don't butt in line? Kid, I'm not butting in line, the line always forms behind ME. Get in line and STFU.

-OR-

David Attenborough whispers: I believe the herd's matriarch is about to ask for the aptly named doggybag.

Rodney Dill said...

Michelle: "It's all green? Beef ain't s'posed to be green."

Rodney Dill said...

"Want some of my drunken gummies Michelle?"

Rodney Dill said...

"...but Monday is always Haggis day."

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

"Yes Ma'am, the school cafeteria line is merely a series of items nobody wants but from which we are forced to choose. Kind of like your husband's failed administration."

Double the U said...

Yes Mrs Obama, this what we little people eat. It wasn't until she turned fifteen did Isabella realize "little people" didn't mean children.

metalgarth said...

Whaddya mean by "they ain't got no eatin' shovels here"

metalgarth said...

oh. We just had soylent green for lunch yesterday.

metalgarth said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
metalgarth said...

I guess I can swing by McPatterson's on the way home for a couple 20 packs of Chitlin McNuggets

curly said...

“No, Ma’am. I don’t want you to open up a can of whoop ass on me.”

curly said...

M’chell teaches the 3 R’s: Racism, Reparations, and Ramadan.

curly said...

“Where all de white Catholic men be?”

Censors Hip said...

"What? No $81 Kobe beef?"

Censors Hip said...

"you chil'ns eat dis here sheeit?"

mpur said...

Wait a minute. This is the crap they're serving you kids? I. Am. So. Sorry.

Jack Reacher said...

"They told us if we like our current cafeteria, we could keep it. Then they brought in the freeze-dried vegetables and tofu."

Jack Reacher said...

"The warming trays are powered by Solyndra, Ma'am. So the food won't be, well, warm."

curly said...

"What? No virgin's blood?"

Capt. Queeg said...

Who took the last dumpling?

GregMan said...

Whatever you do, kid, don't startle it.

Anonymous said...

"Are you for real Mrs. Obama? We white children don't eat intestinal byproducts.,"

Vinneh

Whacko said...

The poor child didn't realize until too late that the worst place to stand was between the Bitter Half and her food supply.

jimmy said...

M'Chel reacts to the realization that she has a bit of gristle left in her teeth--when all she's had is the fruited jello.

--or--

"Mrs. Obama, when I grow up I want to have huge man-hands like yours!"

Dr. Doom said...

"No ma'am, we don't get ribs for lunch at school anymore", explained Beth Anne sadly, "not for the past three years now..."

Rodney Dill said...

Girl: "It sucks to be a kid."

Kaptain Krude said...

"No more eatin' shovels?" Amy had never seen a Klingon turn green and more muscular before, but she had never been around M'chel-Hulk before, either.

Rodney Dill said...

Don't make me constipated... You won't like me when I constipated.