1.Hey, what's Weird Al doing with my crossbow target?
2. "Yeah, my career hit 'Twilight' right after 'Amish Paradise.'"
3. ♪ ♫ "'She ran calling v-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-mpire... She ran calling v-a-a-a-a-mpire...' Nah, too seventies." ♪ ♫
4. 'Andrew Sullivan had a yard sale. It still has slobber stains on it. I hope that's slobber. How long does the HIV virus survive in open air."
5. Do you have any idea how many emotionally stunted middle-aged women I had to fight off at Dollar Tree to claim this prize?