1. After getting lost in the Auto Parts Department for two hours, Earl was forced to eat his two shopping companions to survive.
2. "Excuse me, Miss, where can I find a product that will get massive skid marks out of a pair of 56-W tidy whiteys?"
3. Earl was later busted for shoplifting six cases of Bud in his fat folds.
4. The hair and stache say "70's Porn Star" the waistline and tattoos say, "Hardcore Gay Fetish Porn Star."
5. From KY Jelly to Horse Harnesses, Walmart is one-stop shopping for all your manwhore needs.
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It's a little late in the season, but the Republicans may have finally found someone who can win this election.
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Earl got down to his collarbones before having to run out for a replacement groomer.
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"Hey Bobby Lee", shouted Bubba, "The family size pack of butt closures is on sale this week!"
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Like his cousins Sasquatch and Yeti, a blurry photograph and a couple of plaster footprint casts are all the evidence we have for the existence of Leroy Johnson.
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Good to see Ron Jeremy lost a few pounds.
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♫ He ain't heavy, he's neo-normal. ♪ ♬
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Did Jack Black run out of money?