Monday, February 20, 2012

I pity the floor


1. Ellen: "OK, now 1-2-3... MUNCH!"

2."Yes, I too have always fantasized about being a girls phys. ed. coach."

3. "Well, yes Ellen, this *is* the Missionary position, but usually, the male is on top."

4. M'Chel and friend demonstrate the proper posture for subjects upon meeting King Iwon.

5. Ellen: "I'm a chalk-faced what?"

Best of Dr. Doom
Ellen: "Ok my turn, now I will be the TSA agent you will be the naughty passenger..."

Best of Son Of The Godfather
And this year's Best in Show goes to... The Klingon Targ!

Best of Son Of The Godfather
If Rosie O'Donnel tops the pyramid, I'm watching.

Best of Submariner
Just do you "push ups" and don't worry about it. The camera's are tilted 90 degrees like the old Batman show, and the chalk-faced whores that watch my show will never realize it...

Best of Cat Whisperer
And this is what my husband does every time he meets a Saudi prince.

7:45 AM
Best of metalgarth
Standard M'Chel caption #1:
"Let the wookie win the push up contest"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
On today's show, Ellen introduces 'Chel to a legal hallucinogen
OMG, you're right, we ARE keeping the floor from tipping over. I gotta get O to lick that toad. wheeee

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Stay tuned for the episode of Ellen the censors were too dumbfounded to bleep
Then she grabbed me by my ankles, lifted me up and slammed her strap on as deep as possible over and over until I cried "Armageddon!" That's our safe word

Best of Spineless Vertebrae
Michelle: "This is to be added to my wardrobe... NOW!"

Best of Mr Hankey
Thank you sir may I have another!!

Best of Spin
A photographic hint that Portia and Barry might both be 'Bottoms'

Best of Submariner
So; there was this one time at Black Pantherette camp...

30 comments:

Double the U said...

Right after the show we will have some biscuit and gravy delivered.

Dr. Doom said...

The First Lady and Ellen demonstrate how the middle class should 'Assume the Position'...

Dr. Doom said...

Mrs. Obama: "...and that is the correct way to do a pushup"

Ellen: "Ok my turn, now I will be the TSA agent you will be the naughty passenger..."

Dr. Doom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Ellen then asked Michelle if she could come over to her vegetable garden to do deep knee bends in the zucchini patch.

Vinneh

Son Of The Godfather said...

And this year's Best in Show goes to... The Klingon Targ!

Son Of The Godfather said...

If Rosie O'Donnel tops the pyramid, I'm watching.

Submariner said...

...so then I says to Barry "Sure I'll get down on my knees for you. IF you'll get down on your elbows for me..."

Submariner said...

"So tell me Michelle; does this remind you more of your days at Harvard or Princeton?"

Submariner said...

"...uuuuuhhhhh, what's 'Avalon Manor' Michelle?"

Submariner said...

Just do you "push ups" and don't worry about it. The camera's are tilted 90 degrees like the old Batman show, and the chalk-faced whores that watch my show will never realize it...

Submariner said...

Gender-Turner and Hootch

Cat Whisperer said...

And this is what my husband does every time he meets a Saudi prince.

HLam said...

Ellen: "Hey, what's the plate of French Fries doing down there?"

M'chel: "It's my incentive. Y'know, kinda like the carrot 'n the stick."

metalgarth said...

Standard M'Chel caption #1:
"Let the wookie win the push up contest"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

On today's show, Ellen introduces 'Chel to a legal hallucinogen
OMG, you're right, we ARE keeping the floor from tipping over. I gotta get O to lick that toad. wheeee

-OR-

It popped out right over here. Help me look but don't step on it.

-OR-

Cheater's Limbo

Carpe Phlogiston said...

'C: You're right, this carpet is clean enough to eat!
E: You mean "eat off" don't you?
'C: No, EAT. Your chairs must have been made in China cause it's been less than an hour and I'm already hungry again.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Stay tuned for the episode of Ellen the censors were too dumbfounded to bleep
Then she grabbed me by my ankles, lifted me up and slammed her strap on as deep as possible over and over until I cried "Armageddon!" That's our safe word

Spineless Vertebrae said...

Michelle: "This is to be added to my wardrobe... NOW!"

Mr Hankey said...

...and so when the Fox people come by we just hide behind the bushes like so.

Mr Hankey said...

..and these ants offer plenty of protein for thc chil'in

Mr Hanky said...

...and them normal folks bend their elbows. But we celebrities stay like this and get our exercise this way. Next it's the standing still jumping jacks.

Mr Hankey said...

Thank you sir may I have another!!

Mr Hankey said...

...and I this is why I should've starred in "The Help"

jj said...

M'chelle, "Look, BBQ sauce!"

Spin said...

A photographic hint that Portia and Barry might both be 'Bottoms'

Submariner said...

Mr Hankey said...
...and so when the Fox people come by we just hide behind the bushes like so.


And if they notice us anyways, we blame the Bushes...

Rodney Dill said...

Black on White, White on Black, comme ci comme ca.

Submariner said...

So; there was this one time at Black Pantherette camp...

Kaptain Krude said...

"If you're going to steal my couch fabric to make your dresses, Mrs. Obama, then you are going to be substituting until the new furniture comes in. Now make like an ottoman!"