Friday, February 10, 2012

Hello, Desperate Plea For Attention


1. 2014: President Santorum's "Anti-Sodomy Space Laser System" disrupts Andrew Sullivan's annual summer picnic."

2. Ten minutes earlier, "Yeah, if this is really Mitt Romney on the phone, I'll fire a rocket out of my ass!"

3. Warning signs that the doctor you hired to remove your anal warts might not be legit.

4. Word to OWS protesters; when your body lice have evolved to form a space-faring civilization, you should probably take a shower.

5. For really hardcore gays who can't be cured by traditional aversion therapy, ass-welding is an extreme but often effective option.

Best of Kaptain Krude
Butt-closure... TO THE EXTREEEEEEME!!!

Best of Rodney Dill
Fire in the Hole!

Best of jj
The new European Missile Defense Shield after the obama defense cuts were quite rudimentary.

Best of Dr. Doom
Anyone want to wager on whether or not the words "Hold my beer and watch this", were uttered shortly before this picture was taken?

Best of Steve O
Okay, I think even Republicans can now agree that the NASA budget cuts have gone too far.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Following a Saturday night of heavy partying, Frank's frat brothers agree to help him remove an embarrassing tramp stamp.

Best of Kaptain Krude
"We're going to be lighting off fireworks and rockets out of our butts, so *of course* we're going to need helmets. Why do you ask?"

The sad thing is, is that that makes sense to somebody right now.

Best of Submariner
By the rocket's red glare...
The Fire Island Street Theatre Players' version of the national anthem was a bit unusual, to say the least.

28 comments:

Kaptain Krude said...

Butt-closure... TO THE EXTREEEEEEME!!!

metalgarth said...

Next, we're skipping the Q'Doba and going to McPattersons!

Rodney Dill said...

Fire in the Hole!

Rodney Dill said...

They take Bean Burrito night seriously, close to the border.

jj said...

Taco Bell's latest ad campaign for the "Ultimate Hot Burrito" failed miserably!

jj said...

Fourth of July celebrations at Bwarney Fwank's were really special!

jj said...

The new European Missile Defense Shield after the obama defense cuts were quite rudimentary.

Dr. Doom said...

Decades later historians would attribute the disastrous change in American man portable munitions to a combination of the Obama military spending cuts and the repeal of DADT...

Dr. Doom said...

Anyone want to wager on whether or not the words "Hold my beer and watch this", were uttered shortly before this picture was taken?

Dactyl said...

Virgin Galactic and SpaceX rejected his application, so Darryl decided to start his own private space company.

Shayne said...

Stupid, naked and extreme farting is no way to go through life, son.

Steve O said...

Okay, I think even Republicans can now agree that the NASA budget cuts have gone too far.

Steve O said...

With the retirement of the Space Shuttle, NASA contracts with Vlad, Anatoly, Artur and Andrei.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Even Satan is hurting from the increase in fuel prices. "Fiery Hell & Damnation" has been downsized to "Sparky Hell & Humiliation."

-OR-

Later, the fire marshall determined that the retards were blown up when a spark ignited a large pocket of methane, creating a scene out of Armageddon.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Following a Saturday night of heavy partying, Frank's frat brothers agree to help him remove an embarrassing tramp stamp.

Kaptain Krude said...

"We're going to be lighting off fireworks and rockets out of our butts, so *of course* we're going to need helmets. Why do you ask?"




The sad thing is, is that that makes sense to somebody right now.

Anonymous said...

There once was a man from Boston, Mass,
Who's balls were made out of brass,
In stormy weather they'd clang together,
And sparks shot out of his ass.

Looks like they finally made a video of that ditty.

Vinneh

Submariner said...

Yo, Julio; not so heavy on the pureed Habaneros next batch. OK?

Submariner said...

By the rocket's red glare...
The Fire Island Street Theatre Players' version of the national anthem was a bit unusual, to say the least.

Rodney Dill said...

In general, Tebowing is performed in hopes that God misses.

prince of leaves said...

The <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kennyirwin/6511538191/in/photostream>intergalactic dove swarm invasion</a> has begun!

prince of leaves said...

The intergalactic dove swarm invasion has begun!

Kaptain Krude said...

Some people will do anything to get rid of their tramp stamps.

Anonymous said...

If we could just harness the energy of Fred's farts, energy independence would become reality.

Vinneh

Submariner said...

RENEWABUL NRG; UR DUIN IT RONG

Whacko said...

A man who once went to UMass,
Had balls that were made out of glass.
He rubbed them together,
In dark stormy weather,
And lightening shot out of his ass.

dadoctah said...

wv: nedferig. I hereby nominate this captcha as the proper name for the activity pictured.

racerboy said...

"'Scuuuze me, while I whip this out!!!"