Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Crash and Burn
1. The First Chevy Volt to compete in NASCAR was not a resounding success.
2. Subsequently, NASCAR adopted a very strict "No texting while driving" policy.
3. "Thanks, Peter North. Once again, your legendary ejaculatory volume has saved the day."
4. The first Palestinian NASCAR driver ended his career with a "Bang!" and massive midfield casualties.
5. And when the witch burning was concluded, the actual race could begin.
"You guys better put it out fast, the owner knows Mitt."
Best of Dr. Doom
Fortunately the fire was quickly extinguished when the first two rows in turn 3 poured their beers on it...
Best of prince of leaves
After seeing the image of Satan in the inferno, President Santorum immediately banned all open flames.
Best of Kaptain Krude
Dr. Emmett Brown's choice of vehicles made Marty McFly much more eager to test the new time machine.
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
BURNING MAN... FAIL but quite spectacularly.
Best of Rodney Dill
"Suddenly this naked fat woman came outta nowhere and jumped on my hood."
Best of dadoctah
Hot Wheels and Matchbox are now locked in a fierce battle for the marketing rights.
Best of GregMan
Some Bitter Clingers at Daytona were going to burn SCOAMF in effigy, but when he showed up for real, they figured "what the hell".
Best of Submariner riffing prince of leaves
Let go from Current TV and with nowhere lower to go, a broke and embittered Keith Olbermann protests the right-wing takeover of all media by immolating himself at a NASCAR event.
...and just like his program, no one noticed.
Best of Submariner
Q - How can you tell this ain't taking place in Gaza?
A - No car swarm
Best of dadoctah
I'll never understand why Ford didn't latch onto the "Chariots of Fire" music to sell the Pinto.