Saturday, February 11, 2012

And My Heart Beats So That I Can Hardly Speak...


1. I'm sorry, eHarmony, you're just going to have to do better than this.

2. Mustafa had a thing for high school jocks, Lance had a thing for smelly Middle Eastern cab drivers. Strangely enough, they *didn't* meet on the internet, but at a Foster the People concert. (Yes, they also, shared a love for really sh-tty music.)

3. "Coach, I don't care who they did it at Syracuse, we do not celebrate a win with a slow grind dance here."

4. Much of Rick Santorum's aversion to homosexuality was related to some bad experiences with his creepy high school basketball coach.

5. "Back off, coach. I like women.... Wait, you ARE a woman? That sort of makes it worse."

Best of dub
Recruiting efforts for the Penn State basketball team are going well I see.

Best of metalgarth
And I........ Will always love you!!!! (what too soon?)

Best of racerboy
"...you've had a busy day, today..."

Best of Submariner
I get it, Coach, I GET it!
You want us to play a press defense; you can stop now.

Best of sonicfrog
David wasn't sure what was more embarrassing - being held back four consecutive grades, or having to dance with his Miramonte gym teacher in order to pass the class.

Best of Vinneh
"New rule guys, any one who fouls out has to dance with Mr. Dickman."

23 comments:

dub said...

Recruiting efforts for the Penn State basketball team are going well I see.

Double the U said...

Mel Brooks is completely out of ideas.

Dr. Doom said...

"OK coach I think I get it now - one, two, three, cha-cha-cha", reassured Bobby.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Ghetto Tip #14: When mugging someone who's deaf and blind, comply with the Americans with Disabilities Act... and help them hold up their hands.
ATDHE

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Arthur Murray's illegitimate half-brother sets out to prove that while white men can't jump they can be taught to waltz.

metalgarth said...

And I........ Will always love you!!!! (what too soon?)

Shayne said...

Martin Bashir shows his MSNBC viewing audience what really happened at Penn State.

Anonymous said...

Apparently, Greek public servants are doing more than just burning buildings these days.

-Oiao

Anonymous said...

The cat in the bunny ears is really freaking me out!

Submariner said...

PUH_LEASE tell me you have a flashlight in your shorts, Sullivan...

GregMan said...

"No coach, that's not a basketball in my pocket, and yes, I am happy to see you!"

GregMan said...

"I dunno, coach, somehow I don't think this is how a man-to-man is supposed to go."

dadoctah said...

Funny...they don't *look* Siamese.

racerboy said...

"...you've had a busy day, today..."

Submariner said...

I get it, Coach, I GET it!
You want us to play a press defense; you can stop now.

Submariner said...

Coach Sam Dusky knew he that if he wanted his star forward to play in the game, he was going to have to help him through the Waltz midterm for his PE major course...




ATDHE

Submariner said...

YOU.SHALL.NOT.PASS!

Submariner said...

And another thing, Jones; lay off the Italian at lunch.

sonicfrog said...

David wasn't sure what was more embarrassing - being held back four consecutive grades, or having to dance with his Miramonte gym teacher in order to pass the class.

sonicfrog said...

Hmmmm, people made fun of me, but I always suspected there was something a little funny about Andy Garcia.

Anonymous said...

"New rule guys, any one who fouls out has to dance with Mr. Dickman."

Vinneh

Submariner said...

I don't think Penn State having Jerry Sandusky switch from coaching football defense to basketball defense is in keeping with the intent of the court order...

Rodney Dill said...

The audience did not applaud until they clunked heads while trying to dip each other.