1. "Hurry up with that exchange, I got to get back to my shift at Burger King."
2. "Hold on, I'll pay with with cash. It's kinda damp."
3. "Hold on, my butt closure is coming loose."
4. ORA: Andrew Sullivan goes to the Customer Service desk.
5. Eight years of Swiss finishing school... totally wasted.
Best of Jack Reacher
"Something reminded me I need joint compound, spackle, liquid wood, caulk..."
Best of dub
Uh yeah, I'm here to pick up my photos from my trip to the Sandusky Football Camp. Ouch.
Best of Dr. Doom
Everyone fled in horror after Bubba said, "excuse me while I whip this out".
Best of curly
“Dude! Somebody cut the Preparation-H with CrazyGlue!”
Best of prince of leaves
"Nope, don' fit. Got any bigger suppositories I kin try?"
Best of Army of Dad
Billy Ray stashes his pills while wishing that he coudl break some of his prison habits.
Best of Vinneh
"Hello, hello. I need some Anti Monkey Butt Powder and I need it now."
Best of Kaptain Krude
"Yeah, that second-rate pornographer will never know what him, just like we were when them Germans hit us at Pearl Harbor, eh Miss Huffington?"