Friday, January 27, 2012

SCOAMF Bitch-Slapped


1. "You wanna go, skinny? I will drop you like Barney Frank's pants in a Fire Island men's room."

2. Governor Brewer gives the American Sign Language gesture for 'Stuttering Clusterfark of a Miserable Failure.'"

3. "One more word out of you, young man, and I'll take your fake birth certificate and shove it so far up your smug skinny ass that you choke on it, you Kenyan Marxist bastard."

4. Most Americans were shocked.... SHOCKED... that Governor Brewer would use the wrong finger in expressing her opinion to the president.

5. "You know, Hussein, I really don't have time for this sh-t. You hit the golf course, some of us have work to do."

Best of Double the U
And you promised you would call me right after you left your wife.

Best of dadoctah
"I'll get you, my pretty! And your little Portuguese waterdog too!"

Best of GregMan
"That Klingon wife of yours just unhinged her jaw and ate three of my security detail!"
Best of Jack Reacher
"For the last time, I. Do. Not. Want. Any. Term. Papers."

Best of dadoctah
Someone should really explain to Miss Daisy that not every colored man she meets is her driver.

Best of Dactyl
Pull it!! PULL IIIITT!!!!!

Best of Vinneh
"Oh, yeah! I'll shove your immigration policy up your ass faster than Rahm Emmanuel's dick in a gay bath house."

Best of curly
“Your ‘doggie’ hand shadow puppet was quite good, Governor, but wait until you see my ‘flying swan’ hand shadow puppet.”

33 comments:

Double the U said...

And you promised you would call me right after you left your wife.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

How dare you sue us for enforcing the LAW, you pandering little weasel. I'm sorely tempted to have my officers arrest and deport you. Sit on this and spin!

-OR-

Crone
Douchebag
Hag
Asshat
Anti-immigrant
Illegal immigrant
Bitch
Bitch
Republican
Democrat

-OR-

If your wife comes with you to the statehouse, kindly tell her the food we'll set out is NOT an "all you can eat" buffet. I've seen her shovel!

blue said...

"You stuttering pervert! I am not interested in a three way with you and Barney!!"

blue said...

"...and tell that two timing Barney Frank that I never want to see him again!"

Rodney Dill said...

Obama: "Why do I smell brewer's yeast?"

dadoctah said...

"I'll get you, my pretty! And your little Portuguese waterdog too!"

dadoctah said...

...and after the governor exclaimed "we has did what had to be done", the POTUS could only watch as she stood there with her mouth open, not uttering another word.

dadoctah said...

"No, really. The desert is littered with headless bodies. Er, somewhere. I think. Or it was. They told me."

Submariner said...

Hold still, let me get tha booger for you...

Submariner said...

After the gutteral hiss, the other pod people converged...

Submariner said...

Take your hand off my left breast, Barry or M'Chel's gonna start calling you "Stubby."

Submariner said...

That sign in the background is appropos for this President, don't you think? Yellow and it isn't sure what direction to take.


v word - tankerma - Didn't realize the Gov had a Cavalry son.

GregMan said...

"That Klingon wife of yours just unhinged her jaw and ate three of my security detail!"

GregMan said...

"You say 'God D@mn Amerikkka' ONE MORE TIME and I'm gonna shove the closest flag I can find farther up your rectum than Reggie Love ever went!"

GregMan said...

CapThis Classic Caption #43: "Get off my lawn!!!"

Jack Reacher said...

Tonight, on a very special episode of "One and a Half Chief Executives..."

Jack Reacher said...

Only realizing she was the governor after he gave her his drink order, Obama then asked if she had published two autobiographies before she was 45.

Jack Reacher said...

"For the last time, I. Do. Not. Want. Any. Term. Papers."

dadoctah said...

Someone should really explain to Miss Daisy that not every colored man she meets is her driver.

Artfldgr said...

Hey, your that guy i keep seeing on the golf course

Artfldgr said...

You heard i have a hokey pokey fetish. yes?

Shayne said...

Hey Hussein, pull my finger!

Dactyl said...

Pull it!! PULL IIIITT!!!!!

(Okay ,Shayne beat me to this one, but I'm doing it anyway.)

Dr. Doom said...

"Let me tell you something buddy", said Governor Brewer, "I never, ever, thought I would prefer a presidential visit from Bill Clinton until you were elected."

Anonymous said...

Brewer: "Here, let me help you with that inner nose jockey."

- Oiao

jj said...

obama to unseen aide, "Hurry up and get that teleprompter set up so I can respond."

Anonymous said...

"Oh, yeah! I'll shove your immigration policy up your ass faster than Rahm Emmanuel's dick in a gay bath house."

Vinneh

Dr. Doom said...

"Well as a matter of fact Arizona is where the white women at", replied the Governor heatedly, "Only this time none of them are going to be stupid enough to vote for you..."

curly said...

Obama envied JFK, whose Presidential Prostate Ticklers included the likes of Marilyn Monroe.

curly said...

“…and your teleprompters are over there, on the tarmac.”

curly said...

“Isn’t this a rather odd place to play Rock/Paper/Scissors, Governor?”

curly said...

“Your ‘doggie’ hand shadow puppet was quite good, Governor, but wait until you see my ‘flying swan’ hand shadow puppet.”

dadoctah said...

(I can't believe nobody's said it yet....)

"Aiieee!!! Gojira!"

wv: morbac. The subject of Sir Mix-A-Lot's followup single.