Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Plus Size and Minus Size


1. 1980's Teri Garr and Kate Moss in an Ang Lee production: Electra Woman & Dyna Girl.

2. "If you love me, you'll hold my hair while I barf."

3. "Careful, Emma Watson, you'll smother the kitten."

4. That reminds me, what did I do with my scissors?

5. "... and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak..."

Best of blue
"Why Mrs. Robinson, I think you are trying to seduce me!"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
David Attenborough whispers: Watch closely... the water buffalo gives birth to its fully formed calf standing up.


Best of dadoctah
Joan and Melissa Rivers, as they see themselves.

Best of GregMan
Thin chick: "AIEEE! Gojirra!"

Best of Steve O
Yeah, but on AVERAGE they're hot.

Best of Submariner
I won't ever get used to the drive engaging either, Arthur. But as transitions go, this one IS rather pleasant. Still have your towel? I seem to be making a puddle there...

Best of Kaptain Krude
"There there, that mean old dub person can't hurt you anymore. He'll probably leave after he finishes puking in the corner."

Best of prince of leaves
"In this Discovery Channel exclusive, we've reconstructed what experts believe is Hillary Clinton's life-force feeding process..."

Best of prince of leaves
Scene from the "Human Centipede" sequel, "Lesbian Starfish".

30 comments:

mpur said...

It seems that you have no ass.

blue said...

"Why Mrs. Robinson, I think you are trying to seduce me!"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

David Attenborough whispers: Watch closely... the water buffalo gives birth to its fully formed calf standing up.

-OR-

No, bottoms do NOT get to lead, Willow.

-OR-

Slim Girl Thawtbubble: And Stella here meets the BMI physical criteria for hungry hungry hippos.

-OR-

Good News: Arthur Murray's new ad campaign resulted in a 870% increase in membership applications.
Bad News: Most were ghey BBW's ISO hot skinny chicks.

dadoctah said...

Joan and Melissa Rivers, as they see themselves.

GregMan said...

Thin chick: "AIEEE! Gojirra!"

jj said...

Under obamacare, the have's will have to feed the have-not's through physical osmosis.

jj said...

In a fit of rage for declining his suggestion of a threesome, Charlie Sheen super-glued Tina's thigh to Christine's crotch.

jj said...

BREAKING ON DRUDGE......Penn State now has a sex scandal in women's sports. Three thousand male students sign up thinking it is a class... Developing...

GregMan said...

Fat chick: "Get in mah bellah!"

dub said...

From left to right: Wednesday, Thursday.

Steve O said...

Yeah, but on AVERAGE they're hot.

Dactyl said...

Honest, if we rub our boobs together yours will grow as big as mine. And if I put my hand here it'll keep your ass from getting big at the same time. Trust me.

dadoctah said...

I don't see any "fat one". I see a normal woman and a twelve-year-old boy with long hair.

Anonymous said...

Are they sharing a carrot or a bananna?

-Oiao

Anonymous said...

Hot, lipstick lesbians with eating disorders on the next Dr. Oz.

Vinneh

Submariner said...

Keep bumping that donut, Janey. They'll both get glazed soon; trust me.

Submariner said...

Blonde's thawt bubble; "do I smell a hint of teen spirit?"

Submariner said...

I won't ever get used to the drive engaging either, Arthur. But as transitions go, this one IS rather pleasant. Still have your towel? I seem to be making a puddle there...

Submariner said...

♫ So darling; save the last dance for me...♫

Submariner said...

Whispered; "Just stay up there like this and we might make it through the ad shoot. Dammit, Ellen - you KNOW the PETA peolpe don't allow us to wear fur..."

Kaptain Krude said...

"There there, that mean old dub person can't hurt you anymore. He'll probably leave after he finishes puking in the corner."

Kaptain Krude said...

Those damned underpants gnomes have struck again!

Rodney Dill said...

If I told you, you had a nice body would you hold it against me?

Rodney Dill said...

Santorum: "Bring back the man on dog"

prince of leaves said...

"In this Discovery Channel exclusive, we've reconstructed what experts believe is Hillary Clinton's life-force feeding process..."

prince of leaves said...

There are few things as tragic as when one siamese twin develops anorexia and the other is helpless to stop it.

prince of leaves said...

Scene from the "Human Centipede" sequel, "Lesbian Starfish".

Carpe Phlogiston said...

A girdle? Well, it's a garment we hefty types wear to fool guys into thinking we're... HEY, you're making fun of me, aren't you, you skinny witch?

-OR-

Body Mass Index? Well, it's a way of telling if you have meat on your bones or if the weight is just excess fat... HEY, you're making fun of me AGAIN, aren't you, you skinny witch?

-OR-

Anorexia? It's a term we cows use to denigrate all you trim girls for not snacking on a daily stick of butter while waiting for the pizza guy to arrive... WAIT, I'll be dammed, you're making fun of me AGAIN, you skinny witch!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

I'm NOT fat, just "big boned."
There are bones in our breasts, tummy and buttocks?
Oh shut up, you skinny witch!

Word Verify repeatedly says the characters don't match. I think the squirrel in the blogger cage needs new glasses.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

PLUSModeling.com, where obese girls post headshots and hope that "cottage cheese" will someday just mean chalky white curds in the dairy section, "blubber" won't just be appreciated in Japan and "fat rolls" and "muffin tops" will only be pointed at in bakery displays.