Monday, January 16, 2012

Nobody Loves You! Be Gone!


1. "My blissfully anal-retentive dreams were rudely interrupted by the premonition of someone setting a cup of beer on the coffee table from Marakesh WITHOUT A COASTER!"

2. "Loser Descending a Staicrase" - Marcel duChump, oil on convas, 2012.

3.And then the Angel of the Lord appeared to John Huntsman and said, "You've been touching yourself again, haven't you?"

4. "On second thought, maybe 'Vote For Me, You Mouth-Breathing, Snake-Handling, Science-Denying Idiots' wasn't as effective a campaign theme as the media told me it was."

5. "I better go down to the cellar and make sure none of those hitch-hikers have chewed through the ropes."

Best of Jack Reacher
Huntsman descends from the attic, where he's been consulting with Helen Thomas on strategy.

Best of dadoctah
"Anybody wants me, I'm going to the basement to shoot some pool with Herman and Michele."

Best of Double the U
Dang it, I hate it when you get all the way down to the bottom and then your realize you forgot to register in VA.

Best of Rodney Dill
Huntsman (thinking): "There's always that career in research papers, essays, and dissertations...."

12 comments:

Jack Reacher said...

Huntsman descends from the attic, where he's been consulting with Helen Thomas on strategy.

Jack Reacher said...

When he gets to the bottom of the stairs, it's John who yells "Surprise!", because everyone else assumed he'd already dropped out.

jj said...

....I can always apply for a job at Penn State...

dadoctah said...

"Anybody wants me, I'm going to the basement to shoot some pool with Herman and Michele."

Double the U said...

Dang it, I hate it when you get all the way down to the bottom and then your realize you forgot to register in VA.

Rodney Dill said...

Beelzepup descends to consult with Basement Cat.
(ORA)

maldives wedding said...

Awesome blog. I enjoyed reading your articles. This is truly a great read for me. I have bookmarked it and I am looking forward to reading new articles.Keep up the good work!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Walks of shame are hard enough without a stairway poll number direction metaphor to rub it in.

-OR-

Consoling Thawtbubble: 86 bottles of beer on the wall, 86 bottles of beer, you take one down, pass it around, 85 bottles of beer on the wall...

-OR-

THEME - nonworking Americans, nonworking candidacies, nonworking elevators.

-OR-

Thawtbubble: Like I didn't see this coming.

custom term papers said...

Very nice post!

Rodney Dill said...

Huntsman (thinking): "There's always that career in research papers, essays, and dissertations...."

mpur said...

Daddy promised....

Submariner said...

Thawt bubble; "Well, at least I still have my dignity..."