Monday, January 16, 2012
Nobody Loves You! Be Gone!
1. "My blissfully anal-retentive dreams were rudely interrupted by the premonition of someone setting a cup of beer on the coffee table from Marakesh WITHOUT A COASTER!"
2. "Loser Descending a Staicrase" - Marcel duChump, oil on convas, 2012.
3.And then the Angel of the Lord appeared to John Huntsman and said, "You've been touching yourself again, haven't you?"
4. "On second thought, maybe 'Vote For Me, You Mouth-Breathing, Snake-Handling, Science-Denying Idiots' wasn't as effective a campaign theme as the media told me it was."
5. "I better go down to the cellar and make sure none of those hitch-hikers have chewed through the ropes."
Best of Jack Reacher
Huntsman descends from the attic, where he's been consulting with Helen Thomas on strategy.
Best of dadoctah
"Anybody wants me, I'm going to the basement to shoot some pool with Herman and Michele."
Best of Double the U
Dang it, I hate it when you get all the way down to the bottom and then your realize you forgot to register in VA.
Best of Rodney Dill
Huntsman (thinking): "There's always that career in research papers, essays, and dissertations...."