Schneider
1. Hussein should have known better than to approach M'Chel on a heavy flow day.
2. The horrible secret behind Prego spaghetti sauce.
3. Disney's PMS-themed Water Park was a bigger misfire than Euro-Disney.
4. In his second term, Obama decided to just slaughter the 1% and bathe in their blood.
5. The thing has got Barack... Yea! Go Thing!
Best of GregMan
The Gerbil's Revenge starring Richard Gere had some amazing special effects.
Best of curly
Headline: Mensa Messes Mises, Miscues Menses, Moans Missus
Translation: The brainy hard currency advocate’s wife complained of his googling the mistyping of “Mises Institute”.
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
The owner of the tomato farm regretted hanging the "Throw yourself into your work" motivational poster in the cafeteria.
Best of Passionate Conservative
Charlene? Your tampon came out again!
Best of Jack Reacher
Oh, damn. The plug holding all those backed up captions has failed.
Best of Dr. Doom
No amount of butt closures is going to fix that...
Best of prince of leaves
The FDA subsequently issued new rulings to prevent Cthulhu-spawn from being fraudulently sold for calamari.
Best of jj
BREAKING NEWS....Detroit City Council is barraged by protests when citizens find out that they will not be getting free tampons.
Best of dadoctah
Trial commercial for the new Ocean Spray X-treme Cranberry.

31 comments:
Oh gswd, they remade Scanners?
ewwww.....
Dawn's head explodes after one raaacist anti-M'chel post too many on CapThis.
Roger discovers too late that ObammCare's preferred treatment for back pain involves C-4.
The Gerbil's Revenge starring Richard Gere had some amazing special effects.
Nice work! Thanks a lot.
The new “I coulda had a V8!” commercial proved unpopular with the male demographic.
Next on The Health Channel - Explosive Diarrhea: The Not-So-Silent Killer.
The “white Irish Catholic reporter” accidentally stumbled upon the real reason behind M’Chel’s “angry black woman” demeanor.
Headline: Mensa Messes Mises, Miscues Menses, Moans Missus
Translation: The brainy hard currency advocate’s wife complained of his googling the mistyping of “Mises Institute”.
The owner of the tomato farm regretted hanging the "Throw yourself into your work" motivational poster in the cafeteria.
-OR-
Captain, it appears Mr. Scott's been tweaking the transporter again.
-OR-
That's what happens if you swallow a whole pack of Mento's and quickly chug a liter of Coke.
The CIA couldn't have been happier with the results they got from airdropping tiny Suicide Bomber instruction manuals over Iran and Afghanistan... with Steps #4 and #5 switched.
Charlene? Your tampon came out again!
Word verification...unding...
Oh, damn. The plug holding all those backed up captions has failed.
An unfortunate PBS producer learns the hard way that is a bad idea to cross the Clintons...
No amount of butt closures is going to fix that...
Some guys are way too excited about earning their red wings.
Where will you be when their laxative kicks in?
That reminds me... Spartacus: Blood and Sand is on tonight...
Aliens don't always pop out of your chest.
"Gesundheit... Now where are we gonna find you another colostomy bag?"
Mr."Custom Research Paper" learns the punishment for posting spam comments - V forces violators to eat an M-80.
The FDA subsequently issued new rulings to prevent Cthulhu-spawn from being fraudulently sold for calamari.
Having 'a mud hole stomped in yo ass'
Heinz share price plunged 93% when a photo of how their ketchup is made was leaked by a bored PETA whistleblower.
I don't think it's discriminatory to tell hemorrhoid sufferers they just shouldn't participate in certain activities.
So how's come the FCC won't allow states to televise executions, but allows CBS to broadcast the reality show episode: Survivor - Stoning?
Ang Lee's remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre was nothing short of disturbing...
BREAKING NEWS....Detroit City Council is barraged by protests when citizens find out that they will not be getting free tampons.
Tonight on FOX! - A dozen bitter ex-participants forcefeed rotten tomatoes, pigeon eyeballs, bull pizzels stuffed with fire ants and a pigfat sorbet with rat fut sprinkles to blowhard host Joe Rogan on Fear Factor - The Table Turns!
-OR-
Red Cross inspectors report that Gitmo detainees get plenty of fresh veggies and exercise:
"They love being 'stoned' by tomatoes, says it reminds them of home."
"Some butt into line to ride the golden showers waterboard slide. It's like going to Disneyland!"
Trial commercial for the new Ocean Spray X-treme Cranberry.
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