Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Wednesdays with Wally

Schneider


1. In an alternate universe where people's position in society is based solely on personal merit, Michelle Obama laments that the $9.98 hair straighteners were all sold out by the time she got to the WalMart.

2. "And just why do those racist crackers call it Black Friday?" Shaneeque demanded of no one in particular.

3. In her drug-addled haze, Whitney Houston wonders where the rest of her entourage went and when the video shoot starts.

4. The worst part is, everyone assumes from her LDYGAGA license plate that she's a gay man.

5. I never realized it until know, but the Boob Belt is essential to pulling off  the M'Chel Obama "throw on a bunch of random ugly clothes" look.

Best of HLam
Shaneeque heads for the door smuggling a 60" Wide Screen in her jammie bottoms.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Thawtbubble: Oh dangit, they're out of the extra heavy duty jumbo vibrator batteries!

Best of prince of leaves
After the unfortunate incident in the abandoned WalMart, Columbus added another rule: "Just because it shuffles and speaks incoherently, it doesn't mean it's a zombie."

15 comments:

webpromo said...

Awesome blog. I enjoyed reading your articles. This is truly a great read for me.

blue said...

Shaqueena stomps out after WalMart refused to accept her EBT as payment for a big screen TV.

professional resume said...

Amazing. Thanks a lot for sharing!

Submariner said...

Why DON'TS dey accep' food stamps fo' TVs?

Submariner said...

Sorry lady, I cain't help you. I don't know NUHthin bout birthin no babies...

HLam said...

Shaneeque heads for the door smuggling a 60" Wide Screen in her jammie bottoms.

jj said...

Where's my mutherFu*#%$ mace??

Rodney Dill said...

On the other hand, she never need incur the expense of butt-closures.

Rodney Dill said...

Will write dissertations for food...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Obligatory - Aunt Jemima® has really let herself go.

-OR-

In the old days, Urethra would at least put on her sunday go to meeting clothes to shop. Now she don't even takes out dem curlers.

-OR-

Ruh roh, evidentally Shanequa didn't read the fine print on the Ambien bottle about sleepwalking.

-OR-

Thawtbubble: Oh dangit, they're out of the extra heavy duty jumbo vibrator batteries!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Thawtbubble: While dat cop's kneeing the spine on dat white boy, thinks I'll jest hep mysef to some free batteries.

WordVerify couldn't pass this one up- bummer The feeling a sick intercourse* gets when VtheK doesn't pick his entry as "threadwinner."
*except the résumé clown

Steve O said...

Her hair is in curlers in case she goes out later.

Submariner said...

Looks like M'Chel got herself a new stylist. I applaud the improvement over "American Gothic Davenport."

prince of leaves said...

After the unfortunate incident in the abandoned WalMart, Columbus added another rule: "Just because it shuffles and speaks incoherently, it doesn't mean it's a zombie."

Julie the Jarhead said...

Congrats on your new domain. I have it committed to memory.

xo
Julie