Monday, December 12, 2011

SCOAMF Claus is Comin' to Town



1. More evidence to support the rumors that the SCOAMF... "enjoyed being pleasured by older white guys" during regular trips to the bath house.

2. "Actually, when I, um, think about it. 'Pouting' and 'Crying' are pretty much all, um, Democrats do. So...um... carry on."

3. "F This Cracker and his Barbie dolls and Train Sets! I'll bring you free health care, pay off our student loans, and your mortgage! Every day of the year!"

4. "...Away from my...um.... bed I ....um.... flew like a ... um.... OK, OK, hold on now, I got this....'Away from my bed... um... hold on, hold on  ...  I flew like a flash, um, I tore open the shutters..." As the SCOAMF bumbled on without his TelePrompter, determined to finish his poem, Santa wished for death.

5. The difference between Barack Obama and St. Nicholas? One of them is a much-hyped imaginary character who supposedly gives away stuff to millions of people that is in reality paid for by other people and the other is Santa Claus.

25 comments:

GregMan said...

"...and for Christmas I want a Frank Marshall Davis action figure sex doll."

GregMan said...

"...and for Christmas I want the complete destruction of the Amerikkkan economy."

webpromo said...

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blue said...

"...and in my second term I promise that all Santa's will be multiracial, and PC if we allow them at all!!"

mpur said...

Barry pressures Santa to hand out lumps of clean energy to naughty kids this year.

Kal Penn said...

'Santa, all I want for Xmas is for no one to Google "Obama Gay Bath House Chicago"

jj said...

obama to Santa, "Sorry about the reindeer. NORAD has their orders you know."

jj said...

Santa thought bubble, "My asshole still hurts from that damned TSA 'search' from last year."

dadoctah said...

"Where da elf women at?"

JohnS1959 said...

"In conclusion, Santa has agreed to alter his seasonal giving habits to conform with government redistribution guidelines enforced by my administration", explained the President, "Additionally, Santa has agreed to join the Teamsters and the elves will be unionized as well. So everyone is a winner."

JohnS1959 said...

"No, there is absolutely no truth to the rumor that the Justice Department is running a sting operation through Santa", related the President, "And this time I'm absolutely sure there will be no e-mails to the contrary..."

JohnS1959 said...

"Ho ho ho, no Mr. President", laughed Santa, "We never fly commercial after that unfortunate incident with the TSA at Miami International a few years ago. Oh and tell Ms. Nepolitano that her special toys will not be in her stocking this year..."

Dr. Doom said...

Santa discovers that the new government regulations are a lot like surprise but$ex...

Dr. Doom said...

"And in order to comply with Cap and Trade regulations, Santa has decided to eliminate his Ozone depleting reindeer herd in favor of USPS Ground", related Mr. Obama.

Dr. Doom said...

"Well sir, given the economy and its bleak outlook, Mrs. Clause and I decided to outsource our manufacturing and distribution operations to Mexico," said Santa, "Any chance we can get one of those sweet Solyndra low interest loans before we retire to Costa Rica?"

Dactyl said...

Deck the rich with lots of taxes falalalalalalalala;
While the Prez golfs and relaxes falalalalalalalala;
They'll fund redistribution dreams falala, lalala, lalala;
As well as our donors get-rich schemes falalalalaaaaaa, la la, laa, (high note) LAAAAAAAA!!!

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Anonymous said...

"So Santa where's my big donation"?

Vinneh

Anonymous said...

"Santa are those reindeer union"?

"SEIU thugs to the core Barry."

Vinneh

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Rudolf, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more!

-OR-

Santa realizes his days are numbered when the entire crowd starts rapping - "I'm dreaming of a Malcom X-mas"

Rodney Dill said...

Oh you better watch out,
you better not cry,
you better not pout,
I'm tellin' you why...
Imam Claus is coming to town.

Spineless Vertebrae said...

".... and I wish for the economy to improve and for all the American people to be happy."

"Ha! That'll never happen while I'm president!"

Anonymous said...

All this crap makes goood ammo for a new song called "Racist at Christmastime"