1. "That your Yule log? Want me to set it on fire... metaphorically?"
2."Nope, you're still not attractive. How many more kegs do you have?"
3. "Better duck dude, incoming bola over your left shoulder."
4. "And if Boehner thinks I'm coming back from Senate recess, he's cracked."
5. "Jon Bon Jovi is dead! Show some respect and cover your wang, for God's sake."