Tuesday, December 20, 2011

The Nightmare Before Christmas

Zombeh


1. At long last, the Atheist League succeeded at destroying Christmas.

2.Scientists have yet to explain the inverse correlation between a person's desire to appear nude in public and other people's desire to see that individual person naked.

3. Ang Lee was rather proud of his remake of Miracle on 34th Street.

4. What do they want for Christmas? You can rule out dignity.

5. "So, it's agreed. We're all on the naughty list and we all need spankings!"

31 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

Sandusky: "Ho ho hold me."

Rodney Dill said...

"Where the North Pole dancers at?"

Rodney Dill said...

"Once you go elf, you never go back."

Rodney Dill said...

The running of the reindeer.... in Enumclaw.

Rodney Dill said...

Ladies and Gentlemen take my advice,
pull down your pants and slide on the ice.

Rodney Dill said...

"One more 'That's no moon...' and I'm gonna slug you Marv."

Whacko said...

"Hey, let's bunch up a little more. I can't feel the junk behind me yet."

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Rodney Dill said...

"Who you callin' fat?"

Rodney Dill said...


Jingle Balls, Jingle Balls...

Rodney Dill said...

"Where da Ho ho ho's at?"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The resume guy says - "This is truly a great read for me" - but you know he's just looking at the picture.

-OR-

Macy's HR Dept. was dumbfounded when store security told them the mailing list they'd used for the annual Santa Jobs hiring notice came from the Sex Offender Registry.

-OR-

No amount of counseling would ever completely erase the image burned into little Timmy Hefler's brain the day he and his mom took a short cut through the park.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Unemployed members of the Polar Bear Club are gathering to participate in the ONP - Occupy North Pole protest.

-OR-

Hey, there Eddie!
Hi, Thornton. Don't it seem like we start celebrating Xmas earlier and earlier each year. I mean didn't we just take the kids trick or treating last weekend?

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sonicfrog said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sonicfrog said...

ORA +: In grand fashion, Emilio Estevez has come out of retirement to direct and star in the live action version of "The Tick - Attack Of The Multiple Santas" Christmas special!.

Submariner said...

"And I'd have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for you meddling kids!"

Normally Velma's unmasking of the bad guy was a bit higher...

Submariner said...

E News: Ang Lee recently held a casting call in Central Park for the title role in his "Bad Santa" remake.

Submariner said...

If someone starts singing "Oh Come All Ye Faithful," I am sooooo outa here!

Submariner said...

Ang Lee re-envisions "Sherlock Holmes and the Red-Headed League."

jj said...

An angry Ron Jeremy yells out, "The casting call called for three ho's...this is the last time I film in San Francisco!"

jj said...

This picture has more hanging balls than the whole Baltimore Orioles' pitching staff.

dadoctah said...

With Kim Jong-Il out of the picture, Christmas in North Korea can finally get back to the old traditions.

racerboy said...

@jj - ...and more dangling Chads than... well, the Folsom Street Parade!

racerboy said...

Looks like SantaCon SF is getting off to a brisk start...

racerboy said...

So is that what they meant by "Don we now our gay apparel"?!?

prince of leaves said...

♫ "Down in the town square, knock knock knock!
All the Santas stripped and showed their...er...candy canes..." ♫

prince of leaves said...

♫ Twelve bears a bare-ing... ♫

Dr. Doom said...

The San Francisco City Council sponsored a Christmas Fun Run this year. In a karmic twist of fate of epic proportions, they were sued by the ACLU for violating separation of church and state statues shortly after the event...

Dr. Doom said...

Due to the poor economy this year, the Macy's Santa audition in The Village was quite a cattle call...