1. At long last, the Atheist League succeeded at destroying Christmas.
2.Scientists have yet to explain the inverse correlation between a person's desire to appear nude in public and other people's desire to see that individual person naked.
3. Ang Lee was rather proud of his remake of Miracle on 34th Street.
4. What do they want for Christmas? You can rule out dignity.
5. "So, it's agreed. We're all on the naughty list and we all need spankings!"