Monday, December 19, 2011

I wonder what the poor folks are doing for Christmas?


1.M'Chel and the SCOAMF continue to be amazed that the unemployed haven't stormed the White House and guillotined them yet.

2.The floor reflected right up M'Chel's dress You could even see the writhing tentacles.

3. There were many downsides to serving in the White House Honor Guard, but the president constantly trying to score coke from you was definitely one of the worst.

4. The amazing part is, the entire floor was kept shiny by one middle-aged housewife with severe OCD.

5. "No, No, No, you stupid cracker a--holes! We wanted Blue Spruce, not Norway Spruce! Imbeciles!"

Best of Jack Reacher
Much like the American economy, those trees are uprooted and covered with shiny objects designed to catch the eye and distract the commoners from the fact the trees will soon be dead and discarded.

Best of Rodney Dill
I hope someone warns Biden they waxed the floor again.

Best of Whacko
Its good to be the king!

Best of Double the U
Ohhhhh honey those are so cute, what are those people wearing those uniforms for? Are they scouts?

Best of Passionate Conservative
"You know Michelle, those are some freakishly lifelike nutcrackers!"

Best of Rodney Dill
Obama: "Thanks to me the Sugar Plum fairies don't just dance in your head... they also serve in the military."

Best of JohnS1959
"Camp David?", Ms. Obama asked the Secret Service detail incredulously, "Do they have palm trees, black sand beaches, and drinks with those cute little umbrellas at Camp David? I didn't think so. Now go tell your families you will be spending Christmas in Hawaii this year..."

21 comments:

Jack Reacher said...

Much like the American economy, those trees are uprooted and covered with shiny objects designed to catch the eye and distract the commoners from the fact the trees will soon be dead and discarded.

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Rodney Dill said...

I hope someone warns Biden they waxed the floor again.

Whacko said...

Its good to be the king!

Double the U said...

Ohhhhh honey those are so cute, what are those people wearing those uniforms for? Are they scouts?

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blue said...

SCFOAMF Obama heads to the teleprompter & microphone to announce that he is cancelling Christmas since there is a new communist dictator in North Korea that he must go bow before.

Passionate Conservative said...

"You know Michelle, those are some freakishly lifelike nutcrackers!"

Passionate Conservative said...

..."All these white people around, do they expect me to dance or something?"

jj said...

Did you mean M'chelle's tentacles or testicles?

jj said...

Honor Guard collective thought bubble, "Who the hell did we piss off?"

Rodney Dill said...

Obama: "Thanks to me the Sugar Plum fairies don't just dance in your head... they also serve in the military."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Stump the Marine Corps Band
Aw c'mon, doesn't anyone know how to play - Let Them Eat Cake?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

M'chel's Thawtbubble: Mmmmmmmm, that tree looks so scrumptious! Where's my eating axe?

-OR-

The GAO later reported 19 slip & fall accident claims totalling $342 million dollars.

-OR-

Ladies and Gentlemen, seasons greetings from the US Aristocracy.

-OR-

Metaphor for putting lipstick on a kakistocracy.

JohnS1959 said...

"Make sure these guys load that tree on Air Force One for our trip to Hawaii", instructed the First Lady, "And I want every one of them standing at attention during our reception there as well!"

JohnS1959 said...

"Camp David?", Ms. Obama asked the Secret Service detail incredulously, "Do they have palm trees, black sand beaches, and drinks with those cute little umbrellas at Camp David? I didn't think so. Now go tell your families you will be spending Christmas in Hawaii this year..."

Spin said...

Honor Guard (both) with closed fists... not a good sign.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Since both guards were born & raised in Dixie, the irony of the situation couldn't be ignored. So, as the Royal Klingons strolled past, Frank rolled his eyes and Liz burst out laughing. Both are now iceberg spotters in Pt. Barrow, Alaska.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

OWH [Occupy White House] protesters were promised an "All You Can Eat" dinner scraps buffet if they stood quietly in the anteroom until the 1% were done eating.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Hey V, how's about offering the cute blonde guard a spot as a Thursday Babe? Granted, to keep the EEOC and ACLU quiet, you'll probably have to offer the guy a spot on DADT Tuesday.