Friday, December 16, 2011

De Plane! De Plane!


1. "And if you passengers on the left side of the aircraft will look out your windows, you'll see a whore with a fantastic rack."

2. Blond with the terrific ass's thawtbubble. "The pitch on his number three engine is outside flight tolerance. He should change out the compressor on his next A-Check."

3. Later on, Hurley went mad with power and would bring down planes just to loot their snack carts.

4. "Dumb French Crackers," thought M'Chel from the verandah of her villa. "And somebody get that chalk-faced whore off my beach!"

5. "Oh, beans, the detonator! I knew I forgot something!"

Best of dadoctah
Photoshop fail! No kittens!

Best of prince of leaves
"Helllp! Scary metal bird! Aiieeee!" Monica was terrified until someone else on the beach helpfully informed her that that was what airplanes look like from the outside.

Best of Dr. Doom
"crackle - Tower this is Air France 472, we are declaring an emergency and requesting a fly around, over", transmitted Captain Oveur...

Best of Jack Reacher
"Oh, crap, that's my plane, and I haven't finished the term paper. I wonder where I can get help with one."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Deep Thawts
See Betsy.
See Betsy read.
See Betsy frown and wonder - "Why do they have to ship air all the way from France?"

Best of Kaptain Krude
Seconds later, the plane crashed when the passengers all crowded over to the side and yelled, "Fatty fatty fatty!" It was the last dub family reunion.

20 comments:

dadoctah said...

Photoshop fail! No kittens!

Steve Bailey said...

Lost season 7.... "Lost on Temptation Island!"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Her butt was soooo big...
How big was it, Johnny?
Her butt was soooo big, numerous beachgoers called the local news station to report an unexpected solar eclipse.

-OR-

Blonde Nonthawtbubble: I wonder how the jet knows when to lower its wheels.

-OR-

Fact: It's a nude beach and Janice "Lard Butt" Quincy isn't wearing a thong... that's the lounge chair she was sitting on earlier.

-OR-

Seventeen illegal Haitians were captured after wading ashore and becoming dazed and confused by a ginormous white ass lumbering down the beach. Corporal Murphy, Miami PD, confirmed that decoys are routinely used.

sonicfrog said...

How airline pilots go to heaven.

Spineless Vertebrae said...

Despite the new hawt blonde character, Snakes On a Plane 2 was just as much a fail as the first.

prince of leaves said...

An instant later, the plane swerved over the curb and smashed into a telephone pole.

prince of leaves said...

Pilots hated flying into the Tuvalu airport. Not only was the runway short, but they had to dodge the colossal statue on the beach during the approach.

prince of leaves said...

"Helllp! Scary metal bird! Aiieeee!" Monica was terrified until someone else on the beach helpfully informed her that that was what airplanes look like from the outside.

Dr. Doom said...

"crackle - Tower this is Air France 472, we are declaring an emergency and requesting a fly around, over", transmitted Captain Oveur...

Jack Reacher said...

When Airbus meets airboobs.

Jack Reacher said...

TSA's public service announcements regarding their new body scanner technology are both edgy and...daft.

Jack Reacher said...

"Oh, crap, that's my plane, and I haven't finished the term paper. I wonder where I can get help with one."

MurphyB said...

Dumb but curvey blond attempts to blow dry her armpits.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Deep Thawts
See Betsy.
See Betsy read.
See Betsy frown and wonder - "Why do they have to ship air all the way from France?"

Kaptain Krude said...

Seconds later, the plane crashed when the passengers all crowded over to the side and yelled, "Fatty fatty fatty!" It was the last dub family reunion.

jj said...

With the FAA budget cuts, glideslopes were eliminated. Pilots now have to depend on the severity of the nipple erection of the newly created positions of Runway Czars...

Rodney Dill said...

...and now to the left, you'll see the landing strip.

Submariner said...

What she sells on the sea shore isn't SHELLS...

Submariner said...

It was amazing! She laid back and spread her legs. I laid down my head and listed. I SWEAR I hear the sea!

dadoctah said...

Flotation devices yada yada yada....