Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Clean Up in Aisle 29

Schneider


1."Sorry, I had to bring him down, he had big tits."

2. Contrary to the teachings of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, when you want something and you don't wanna pay for it, you can't walk right through the door, walk right through the door.

3. CSI: Milwaukee was just one franchise extension too far.

4. "Ms Ryder, these desperate pleas for attention really must stop."

5. Most of the perps considered it humiliating when Deputy Pruit tea-bagged them, but Andrew was sort of into it.

Best of Steve O
Paul Blart vs. Occupy Walmart.

Best of prince of leaves
Woman in gray: "You know somethin', Margie? It's always such a chore getting up at 3am for these Black Friday doorbuster sales, but seeing that Occupy fucktard get body-slammed by security made it all worthwhile, this year."

Best of Spin
When Walmart says one per customer it means ONE PER CUSTOMER pal.

Best of Rodney Dill
"I caught him shoplifting butt-closures."

Best of Rodney Dill
"What? The Potato Chip aisle too?"

Best of dub
He was attempting to go through the 12 Item Express Lane with 13 items....so I pepper sprayed him and took him down.

15 comments:

Steve O said...

Paul Blart vs. Occupy Walmart.

Dr. Doom said...

Scott was eventually released with an apology from Wal-Mart after it was discovered that he had smuggled the butt closures into the store...

MurphyB said...

You put your right knee in, you put your right knee out....

prince of leaves said...

Woman in gray: "You know somethin', Margie? It's always such a chore getting up at 3am for these Black Friday doorbuster sales, but seeing that Occupy fucktard get body-slammed by security made it all worthwhile, this year."

prince of leaves said...

News channels would erroneously report this as the apprehension of the guy putting needles into clothes, when in fact he got tasered and billy-clubbed for being a little prick.

prince of leaves said...

"Oops, put a little too much pressure on his spine with my knee - better make that a *wet* cleanup."

[wv: felativ -- one of Jerry Sandusky's young male relations?]

John.....just John said...

Red Hot Chili Peppers? N-word please. It was Jane's Addiction.

Spin said...

When Walmart says one per customer it means ONE PER CUSTOMER pal.

custom term papers said...

Great!

Rodney Dill said...

"C'mon Andy... can I put my bullet in my gun now?"

Rodney Dill said...

"I caught him shoplifting butt-closures."

Rodney Dill said...

"What? The Potato Chip aisle too?"

dub said...

He was attempting to go through the 12 Item Express Lane with 13 items....so I pepper sprayed him and took him down.


wv: sucki. Hey, my comment wasnt THAT bad.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

I'm seeing a new FOX reality show - "When Rent-a-Cops Attack" sponsored by Mutual of Omaha and narrated by... wait for it, wait for it... David Attenborough!

-OR-

Rookie agents at Langley often practice this pose in front of a mirror while chanting, "Two to the chest pause one to the head."
ORA The Mozambique Drill aka "Triple Tap"

-OR-

Officer Dunwiddy was assessed a penalty for showboating. This means the next shoplifter gets a 15-yard head start before Dunwiddy can pull the trigger.

Anonymous said...

Target shopper or shopper target? You be the judge...

Johns1959