Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Weasels Raccoons Rippped My Flesh



1. How many clues do you need that the garbage problem at OWS is getting out of hand?

2.This has something to do with that stupid PETA/Super Mario thing isn't it?

3. Margot Kidder really has lost it, hasn't she?

4. "Maybe my last boyfriend was right. Maybe I am garbage."

5. The Livonia Police heard that a white woman was being molested by a pack of coons and dispatched a SWAT Team.

Best of Dr. Doom
Wow, the body lice problem at OWS has gotten out of hand...

Best of dadoctah
The lean years: Jed disowns Elly May.

Best of mpur
Raccoon thought bubble: "My nose never lies. There is definitely a can of tuna fish around here somewhere."

Best of jj
Tonight on NatGeo, watch as raccoons seek out and eat a beaver...

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
The unlighted path from the Subway Sandwich Shop to her apartment wasn't nicknamed "The Gauntlet" for nothing.


Best of dadoctah
What, no cranberry sauce?

Best of Double the U
Mary's idea for a portable compost business had a few problems.

Best of Dr. Doom
You know it is pretty rancid if you cover it with vegetables and a raccoon still won't eat it...

23 comments:

Dr. Doom said...

Wow, the body lice problem at OWS has gotten out of hand...

Dr. Doom said...

The animals around Enumclaw have had enough and they're not taking it any more...

dadoctah said...

Before the farmhouse dropped on her, the Wicked Witch of the East commanded her own version of her sister's flying-monkey patrols.

dadoctah said...

The lean years: Jed disowns Elly May.

Jack Reacher said...

I see Ang Lee has gotten around to a film adaptation of "Rascal."

Jack Reacher said...

(Raccoon #1) "Hey, Sid, does this look fresh?"
(Raccoon #2) "I dunno. But the buffet at Friday's was better."

mpur said...

Raccoon thought bubble: "My nose never lies. There is definitely a can of tuna fish around here somewhere."

Rodney Dill said...

ATDHE

jj said...

Tonight on NatGeo, watch as raccoons seek out and eat a beaver...

Rodney Dill said...

ATDHE - ...and was eaten by coon zombies.

blue\ said...

"Yea, Lady GaGa was the main course & I'm the desert..."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Yesteryear's quaint Tongue-in-Cheek Heading: "Man Bites Dog"
Today's ratings-driven Inflammatory Innuendo Heading: "Coons Attack White Girl"

-OR-

After her internship as Senate Page ended, Edna realized this was the only way she'd ever get a male to go down on her again.

-OR-

Raccoon Thawtbubble: MmmMmmm, free range human! nom nom nom

-OR-

The unlighted path from the Subway Sandwich Shop to her apartment wasn't nicknamed "The Gauntlet" for nothing.

-OR-

McPatterson's 10-second ad will air during the Redskins' Toilet Bowl: "Our secret sauce attracts finicky eaters, not flies!"

WordVerify: arcen - ebonics, yada yada

JohnS1959 said...

The latest PETA slogan, I'd rather be eaten by raccoons than eat a raccoon was not nearly as popular as the Natalie Portman spot...

Spin said...

Her lack of originality would have chapped grandfather Frank's ass.

dadoctah said...

What, no cranberry sauce?

Rodney Dill said...

Her name was McGill, and she called herself Lill, but everyone knew her as Nancy.

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

Hard times have forced "nature's bandits" to become "nature's gangstas."

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

Six hours into the mountainside "initiation," Becky began to question her decision to join Phi Mu

Dactyl said...

Eva Mendes always goes home to have Thanksgiving dinner with the family.

Double the U said...

Mary's idea for a portable compost business had a few problems.

Anonymous said...

The remake of Willard, using Racoons and OWS as a plot platform, failed at the Box Office.

Or,

Initiation ritual into the PETA FemaNAZI Animal Response Team (P-FART) where they do use Duct Tape, but no need for adding tuna to attract rodents.

O-IAO-

Anonymous said...

Initiation ritual into the PETA FemaNAZI Animal Response Team (PETA-FART) where they do use Duct Tape, but no need for adding tuna to attract rodents.

O-IAO-

Updated my last

Dr. Doom said...

You know it is pretty rancid if you cover it with vegetables and a raccoon still won't eat it...