Monday, November 14, 2011

Occupy the Pavement, Scumbag


1. "Aw, c'mon, since when is unwanted scrotum exposure a crime?"

2. "Help! Help! I'm being oppressed!"

3. "Oh, c'mon, it wasn't 'rape-rape.' Don't you pigs watch 'The View?'"

4. "Make sure someone feeds my pet scabies while I'm in jail."

5. "Held down and cuffed by men in leather jackets and latex gloves... it's like Andrew Sullivan's birthday party all over again."

Best of Jack Reacher
Dave's term-paper scam is finally taken down by campus security.

Best of jj
Cop to protester, "You're too old for Sandusky. But there's a 350lb black in the cell block named Bubba that loves interracial."

Best of Dr. Doom
...On the positive side, Jerry realized that ennui had finally released him...

Best of blue
"hey, they just told me I get to Occupy City Jail!!! How cool is that!"

Best of GregMan
"Not the shower! Nooo!!!"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
"I swear, guys, I did NOT know that was the last Krispey Kreme donut!!"

Best of prince of leaves
Wildlife agents attach a tracking tag before releasing the feral human back into the wild.

Best of Submariner
Glee's version of "West Side Story" was surprisingly gritty.

Best of Double the U
"You slaves that go to your capitalist jobs everyday are always being crushed by your masters! Learn to be free!"

29 comments:

metalgarth said...

The guys in "Jethro Tull" found out the hard way that flute solos are absolutely illegal under the regime of Metalgarth

getessay.com said...

cool photo))

Rodney Dill said...

"Kenneth... What is the frequency?"

andthenblammo! said...

my latte has been brutally spilled! Call Amnesty International!!!

Jack Reacher said...

Dave's term-paper scam is finally taken down by campus security.

Jack Reacher said...

"I have a question for Congressman Paul! I have a question for Congressman Paul!"

jj said...

I thought Occupy Enumclaw meant literally that...

jj said...

Cop to protester, "You're too old for Sandusky. But there's a 350lb black in the cell block named Bubba that loves interracial."

Dr. Doom said...

...On the positive side, Jerry realized that ennui had finally released him...

blue said...

"hey, they just told me I get to Occupy City Jail!!! How cool is that!"

GregMan said...

"Not the shower! Nooo!!!"

GregMan said...

Todd finds out the hard way what happens when he won't get off Herman Cain's lawn.

GregMan said...

"I didn't buy my essay off the Internet! Honest I didn't!!!"

GregMan said...

"On the plus side, at least I'm not Scott Pelley."

prince of leaves said...

See? This is why you should always cut up your six-pack rings: wild animals can get their paws trapped in them.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

For years, Jarvis had wondered if there really was a penalty for yelling FIRE! in a theater.

-OR-

"I swear, guys, I did NOT know that was the last Krispey Kreme donut!!"

-OR-

Jeez, Ma, why now?? Sure, I didn't wait 30 minutes before going swimming but that was 23 years ago!!

-OR-

In police lingo, a candy ass liberal like Charlie is what's known as a test dummy.

prince of leaves said...

Wildlife agents attach a tracking tag before releasing the feral human back into the wild.

prince of leaves said...

"So sorry we confused you with a scruffy dirtbag, Mr. Depp...we'll have these cuffs off in a jiffy."

prince of leaves said...

The surgical gloves offered little protection when it turned out Ashlar's drug-resistant TB was actually Solanum.

Dr. Doom said...

"Police brutality? No this is police foreplay", replied Officer Jones, "The brutality starts when we get you back to the precinct and I introduce you to Officer Jamal 'Nightstick' Jefferson... "

Banana Republican said...

No!!! Not the bath, anything but the bath.

curly said...

"Excuse me, do you have any Grey Poupon?"

curly said...

Do tase him, bro!

Submariner said...

Some volunteers for Carosel didn't go so willingly or gleefully...

Submariner said...

Glee's version of "West Side Story" was surprisingly gritty.

Submariner said...

I.Said."JENNY'S.Got.Gun."

It's.A.Frakkin.Song...

Submariner said...

ORA

Drizzle, drazzle, druzzle, drome;
Time for this one to go home...

Submariner said...

Saskatchewan!
Spittoon!
Sasparilla!
What the hell was that safe word!?!

Double the U said...

"You slaves that go to your capitalist jobs everyday are always being crushed by your masters! Learn to be free!"