Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The List of Things That Aren't Crimes Grows Ever Longer




Top 5 OWS Pick-Up Lines.

1. "Hey, wanna go back my tent and pick lice out of my beard?"

2. "So, will this be a rape or a rape-rape?"

3. "So, do your meds interfere with your ability to have an erection, or am I about to get lucky?"

4."If I said you had a wasted, anorexic scarecrow-like body would you hold it against me?"

5. "Wanna see my capitalist tool?"

Best of Rodney Dill
"Yeah... Ned Beatty rocks"

Best of Rodney Dill
You can pick your nose, you can pick your friends, you can pick your banjo... but you sure has as hell can't pick a good President.

Best of dadoctah
Tom and Dick Smothers try out their new act.

Best of GregMan
"Wanna hear me squeal like a pig?"

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Did you notice a blonde with great tits on your way through Alabama? No? Wait, you're liberal, right? Never mind."

Best of Double the U
No, seriously dude, you have to stop climbing in people's tents at 3am and playing "Dueling Banjos", it is really starting to freak people out.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
I'm sick of that wise ass Cain's mantra -- "go get a job" - - like I could do that with a BA in Music Theory and 50 credit hours of Slow Pitch Softball.

19 comments:

jj said...

Hey, where's that albino kid?

of course followed by the obvious...

You got a purty mouth....

wv: ispred...really???

Rodney Dill said...

"Yeah... Ned Beatty rocks"

Double the U said...

Have you tried the earthworm, and grub with goat cheese salad? It is too die for.

Rodney Dill said...

"It's done then, we've cornered the market on Butt-closures."

Rodney Dill said...

You can pick your nose, you can pick your friends, you can pick your banjo... but you sure has as hell can't pick a good President.

Jack Reacher said...

"Did you come all the way from Alabama with that thing on your knee?"

dadoctah said...

Tom and Dick Smothers try out their new act.

GregMan said...

How nature says, "way too much inbreeding".

GregMan said...

"Wanna hear me squeal like a pig?"

Kaptain Krude said...

"Did you notice a blonde with great tits on your way through Alabama? No? Wait, you're liberal, right? Never mind."

Rodney Dill said...

Coming soon - Occupy Mom's Basement

Double the U said...

No, seriously dude, you have to stop climbing in people's tents at 3am and playing "Dueling Banjos", it is really starting to freak people out.

mpur said...

Line dancing, however, is a crime.

Dr. Doom said...

"OK Bruce, I'll do-si-do with you if you will strum my chord for me", replied Shane.

blue said...

OK, this time you be Batman & I'll be Robin!"

metalgarth said...

note to future OWSers:

When a gay hippie asks about "handling your g-string", he does not mean your banjo

Rodney Dill said...

Borderline 'leven

Rodney Dill said...

"Oh, I thought you said 'Bang Joe.'"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Yeah, the beard's part of my Abe Lincoln schtick. I stand on a soap box and proclaim the wage slaves freed.

-OR-

I'm sick of that wise ass Cain's mantra -- "go get a job" - - like I could do that with a BA in Music Theory and 50 credit hours of Slow Pitch Softball.

-OR-

I'd hoped to make a go of it by entertaining the 99%... but these cheapskates won't even pay me minimum wage!

-OR-

Do you know the ferret pooped in the bong last night?
If you hum a few bars I can fake it. bada bing