1. Rahm Emanuel holds a press conference to explain that he's never going back.
2. Rahm Emanuel displays the model he hopes to look like when the surgical procedure is completed.
3. "Ladies and Gentleman of the Press, I'd like you to meet Dawn, the new Racial Sensitivity Czar."
Best of dadoctah
"Four thousand quatloos on the newcomer!"
Best of Dr. Doom
I'll take Strange Bedfellows for $1800, Alex...
Best of andthenblammo!
"I'd like you all to meet the new head of my new Department of Transgender Affairs. Hard to believe DeShawna here used to be a 563-pound white computer repairman named Kyle! What a country!'
Best of andthenblammo!
ORA: "Yeah, I met LaFawnda here on an online chat group. What's your point, Napoleon?"
Best of Double the U
What is the difference between a $50 an hour whore and a $400 an hour escort? Apparently about a half a foot.
Best of Unscrupulous
"The American people... want change. They want big ideas, big reform, and most importantly... big black ho's."
Best of Unscrupulous
"You never let a serious crisis go to waste. And what I mean by that it's an opportunity to do things you think you could not do before. Take Jasmine here.
Best of Dactyl
Hey, if Morgan Freeman can get busy with his step-granddaughter, then I can get busy with his step-granddaughter.
Best of dadoctah
Wow, how long does it take to inflate *that*?
Best of Submariner
Show batchelor #3 what he's REALLY won, Ru...
28 comments:
"I have 9 1/2 for you. That's fingers, baby."
Vinneh
OK folks, it's time to see who has the bigger c*ock....
"Four thousand quatloos on the newcomer!"
"Please meet the new chief of MY staff!"
Rahm was devastated to learn that the invitation to 'come to my house and hang around' involved standing on her lawn wearing a jockey cap and holding a lantern.
It was inevitable in these multicultural times that 'Snow Black and the Seven Dwarves' would get green-lighted by Hollywood. Other than 'Stumpy' (shown), no word on who's playing the other six dwarves.
I'll take Strange Bedfellows for $1800, Alex...
Dammit, I just think the new Mayor of Chicago being involved in a prostitution ring is just flat wrong. I don't care how pretty his pimp is, or how much the guys at Clark and Diversey tip him for 'a trip around Stony Island'!
'Fast and Furious?? Listen, the only thing I know is it describes our sex life: I'm finished fast and she's furious! Nyuk nyuk nyuk!'
♩ Tall and tan and young and lovely
The girl from Altgeld Gardens goes walking.
And when she passes each mayor she passes goes: Oy!
"I'd like you all to meet the new head of my new Department of Transgender Affairs. Hard to believe DeShawna here used to be a 563-pound white computer repairman named Kyle! What a country!'
ORA:
"Yeah, I met LaFawnda here on an online chat group. What's your point, Napoleon?"
What is the difference between a $50 an hour whore and a $400 an hour escort? Apparently about a half a foot.
Dateline Chicago 2014:
Mayor Rahm Emanuel called a press conference to deny rumors that his re-election bid is in deep trouble. He also announced his divorce and pending marriage to Shendra Watts (on his right),his conversion to the Trinity United Church of Christ from Judaism, his just-finalized name change to 'Shabazz El-Rahmden XXX Mohammed', and invited select reporters to 'climb in my new 'Slade with the double-dubs and go bust a cap in the police chief's azz! Word!' He then blasted reports that he was pandering to the electorate, made Latin Disciples gang signs, ,and let his suit pants droop down to his 'package'.
"C'mon, have a heart! Bad enough you press jagoffs blast me for hiring Colonel Qaddafi's former bodyguards; the girls tell me Moammar was a much snappier dresser!'
"The American people... want change. They want big ideas, big reform, and most importantly... big black ho's."
"You never let a serious crisis go to waste. And what I mean by that it's an opportunity to do things you think you could not do before. Take Jasmine here.
Rupaul enters politics.
And she can drink a glass of water while he takes questions from the press.
Hey, if Morgan Freeman can get busy with his step-granddaughter, then I can get busy with his step-granddaughter.
Jennifer Hudson to mayor, unaware of who he is: "I was promised Top RAMEN, you little midget! Where's my noodles?? I'm starving over here!"
Confucius say: Never date girl with bigger balls than yours.
Yoda say: Big blow up doll build you.
Tiger Woods say: Where da white girls at?
-OR-
Rahm may be the first guy in history to utter the words:
"Gee, I can't get my whole hand around it!"
-OR-
Like a bad remake of The Eiger Sanction Rahm climbs a dark forbidding mountain in search of lost self-esteem. Peering into a huge crevasse, he finds dozens Kilroy was Here drawings.
"Does this woman make my character look small? What's that? It's not the woman? And it's not my character?"
When Bill Maher dreams.
Wow, how long does it take to inflate *that*?
Show batchelor #3 what he's REALLY won, Ru...
Reminds me of leave stories from Great Lakes; just a couple of swingin' dicks looking to score...
"...and borrowing from the White House, I'd like to introduce you to the new 'Fire Island Czar' I've appointed to the City Council..."
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