Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Message in a Bottle


1. Dawn's boyfriend takes in a bottle of 'liquid courage' and prepares to give her the lovin' she demands.

2. "Does your Facebook profile pic enhance or diminish your employment prospects? Let's discuss."

3. Because he drank vodka instead of smoking pot, Lamal was frequently accused of 'acting white.'

4. "Damn, now everybody is gonna assume I drink because I'm lazy and irresponsible, and not because it helps me cope with my crazy momma down in Zucotti Park wearing Depends on her head, cursing the "damn Jews" for not recognizing her as the "Queen of All Persia."

5. Spot the signs you've picked a bad abortion doctor.


Best of Dr. Doom
After deciding he would like to be President someday, Jammal begins the hard work of setting the bar lower...

Best of jj
As M'chelle prepares in one room for her yearly mating ritual, her 'donor' prepares in another.

Best of Dactyl
I say, Lance, Chip, Winthrop, watch me pretend to be "gangster" by taking a photograph of myself in the mirror with a cheap printed t-shirt and some gin in a plastic (chortle) bottle! We'll send the photo to the Lifestyle department at the New Haven Times-Courier. I tell you it'll be two hoots!

Best of Vinner
Economic hard times have hit The Ladies' Man as his Courvosier has been replaced with Ripple.

13 comments:

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Eventually, an exasperated Dawn had to explain to Tylenall why all the pictures had his thumb sticking out of his ear.

-OR-

When Dawn whined that she felt uncomfortable staring at his t-shirt, her pimp "Oxy" Contin Jones said, "Lose 150 pounds and ah might put yo ugly ass booty on a t-shirt... and send it to Dub."

Dr. Doom said...

After deciding he would like to be President someday, Jammal begins the hard work of setting the bar lower...

GregMan said...

A young Barry Soetero reacts to finding out he was born in Kenya and thus could never be president.

jj said...

As M'chelle prepares in another room for her yearly mating ritual, her 'donor' prepares in another.

jj said...

After all this vodka even Rosie O'Donnell would look doable.

I just threw up in my mouth a little...

Anonymous said...

Yeah, chances are he can't spell 'vote', but he did for Obama.

-Oiao

dadoctah said...

Keepin' hydrated: ur doin it rong.

wv: athyth. "Doctor, can you athyth me with mai tongue pierthyng?"

Whacko said...

How many bottles of vodka does it take to remove the taste of M'chell from your mouth?

Kid: "I'll let you know."

metalgarth said...

Standard Caption #242

"Our next Safe School Czar preps for a meeting with the President"

Dactyl said...

I say, Lance, Chip, Winthrop, watch me pretend to be "gangster" by taking a photograph of myself in the mirror with a cheap printed t-shirt and some gin in a plastic (chortle) bottle! We'll send the photo to the Lifestyle department at the New Haven Times-Courier. I tell you it'll be two hoots!

Dactyl said...

1. For best results, read my previous comment with a really snooty Harvard-style accent.

2. Word verification: 'trysts'. Seriously. Army of Mom, stop stalking me.

Anonymous said...

Economic hard times have hit The Ladies' Man as his Courvosier has been replaced with Ripple.

Vinneh

Anonymous said...

If he had a little black kid on his back, would that be redundant?

-Oiao