Monday, October 31, 2011

The Littlest Pirate


1. Trick or Treating got a lot easier for little Hussein Soetero when his mother figured out that if she stood off to the side with a cue card reading "Trick or Treat," he'd say that instead of "Gimme the candy, bitch."

2. Halloween being Haram, the Soetero's got around it by referring to it as 'Candy Redistribution and Reparation Day.'

3.Andrew Sullivan's Google Search for "Young Black Booty" surprised and delighted him.

4. "Trick or Treating is for losers. I'd rather go looting at Old Navy." ATDHE.

5. "Mommy, that's exactly where Uncle Frank Marshall Davis likes to touch me, too."

Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
"Mommy,. why do I look like Uncle Frank Marshall Davis and not African Daddy?"

Best of metalgarth
The last few "Dread Pirate Roberts" didn't really inspire terror in anyone

Best of Mr Hankey
Long Dong Silver started at an early age.

Best of rodney dill
Can you spot the hidden Ninja in this picture.

Best of rodney dill
"...but Mom, he just wandered into Livonia. Can I keep him?"

Best of sonicfrog
In an effort to try and stabilize their rapidly dwindling membership, the Church of Garry Coleman merged with a Pirate Cult, producing mixed results.

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Download complete", the cool female voice whispered. Ray Bradbury opened his eyes and took stock of his new surroundings. The enthusiastic young brunette knelt at his side, barely able to contain her excitement. Although she was the one who had convinced him to try this new procedure, he still hadn't been sure that she would actually follow through with her promises and enticements. But Ray could tell by looking into her eyes that she would do all that she promised in her song, and then some. Slowly, Ray's new future became clear to him, and he waved his sword about enthusiastically.

30 comments:

mpur said...

I wanna be a butt pirate when I grow up!

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

"Mommy,. why do I look like Uncle Frank Marshall Davis and not African Daddy?"

GregMan said...

Finally a real Smelly Pirate Hooker.

Rodney Dill said...

Everyone likes a little pirate in them.

metalgarth said...

The last few "Dread Pirate Roberts" didn't really inspire terror in anyone

GregMan said...

"Mamma, Uncle Frank Marshall Davis' sword ain't nowhere near as big as this one!"

jj said...

Pretty soon this white bitch is gonna find a little Captain inside of her...

jj said...

Let's go to the rich banker's neighborhoods. They got bigger candybars, and that's where the good looking white wimmen at...

Mr Hankey said...

Long Dong Silver started at an early age.

Mr Hankey said...

Obama's mother let little Barry pick out appropriate costumes for his chosen carrer ambitions.

Mr Hankey said...

White women always think the young ones look all cute and cuddly....until those hands go lower...

Double The U said...

I like this getting free stuff by stealing from other people mommy. When I grow up I am going to become President and do it to everybody!

Mr Hankey said...

I hate to disappoint you, ma'am, but you're stroking on my arm!

Dr. Doom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dr. Doom said...

Ahh, the President's economic policy becomes clearer. Just think of special interest groups, labor unions, environmental activists, and liberal causes as the ogres, trolls, hobgoblins, and ghosts pounding on the door of the American taxpayer, screaming, "Trick or Treat". The only problems are it happens every single day and they get all the treats while the taxpayers get all the tricks...

Dr. Doom said...

Barak Obama learns all he wants to know about supply side economics at an early age...

dadoctah said...

She: "What a cute little pirate? Where are your buccaneers?"

He: "They're under mah buckin' hat!"

dadoctah said...

"Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?" ATDHE.

(C'mon, you know you were all thinking it.)

dub said...

Awww...a pirate decided to dress like a Tootise Roll for Halloween.

dub said...

10 seconds later a herd of cats tried to bury him.

Submariner said...

I guess she must be the hooker...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

NO! Don't use your hands, Lady! That's why they invented the pooper scooper.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Heredity can directly pass on genetic characteristics one hopes would skip several generations, like baldness or chins. OTOH, stupidity is pretty much random.

rodney dill said...

Can you spot the hidden Ninja in this picture.

rodney dill said...

Long Dong Silver - Fail

rodney dill said...

"...but Mom, he just wandered into Livonia. Can I keep him?"

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

finally proof that Obama is a Muslim pirate from Somalia

sonicfrog said...

In an effort to try and stabilize their rapidly dwindling membership, the Church of Garry Coleman merged with a Pirate Cult, producing mixed results.

Kaptain Krude said...

"Bitch stole my fish, so I boarded her and took her booty. Bitch won't steal my fish again!"

Kaptain Krude said...

"Download complete", the cool female voice whispered. Ray Bradbury opened his eyes and took stock of his new surroundings. The enthusiastic young brunette knelt at his side, barely able to contain her excitement. Although she was the one who had convinced him to try this new procedure, he still hadn't been sure that she would actually follow through with her promises and enticements. But Ray could tell by looking into her eyes that she would do all that she promised in her song, and then some. Slowly, Ray's new future became clear to him, and he waved his sword about enthusiastically.

(er, that wasn't a metaphor)