Wednesday, October 12, 2011

The Lion King Meets The English Patient?

Brender


1. I forgot how weird those Scrubs cutaways were.

2. Finally, a suitable donor for Dick Cheney's heart transplant is located.

3. The Cowardly Lion's request for a sex change came as no surprise. After all, he was literally a 'friend of Dorothy.'

4. Fortunately, because he was a high-ranking administration official, the Circle of Life Panel approved Mufasa's heart surgery.

5. ORA:  "Wow, he really mauled the crap out of that bear in the waiting room."

Best of Rodney Dill
Guess I shouldn't have picked Ndamukong Suh for my fantasy team.

Best of Submariner
Why is the third doc from the left moving his tail out of the way, and where is the doc on the right's right hand?

Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
Guy holding the head: "Remember, it is absolutely imperative that we all keep our gauze masks in place to avoid infecting the patient."

Best of GregMan
Things just kept getting wierder at the Enumclaw STD Clinic.

Best of dadoctah
"I can haz rilly big innerveenis cheezburger?"

Best of Unscrupulous
Who knew the circle of life includes a rectal exam by five pre-med douche bags.

Best of Unscrupulous
Look, Simba. Everything the light touches is our kingdom. Our kingdom now includes my ass hole.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Doctor: So, did any of you have to eat raw lion testicles as part of your intern hazing ritual?
Lion Thawtbubble: WHAT??? I'm just in here for a thorn in my paw!!!!

Best of racerboy
ORA: "I'm gonna get tutored!!!"

Best of dadoctah
It was either this or X-ray some Kardashian's ass. I drew the long straw.

Best of Dactyl
Feline suppositories, they're GRRRRREAT!!!

Best of Mr. Right
So what did you think was going to happen when Charlie Sheen ran short of tiger blood?

Best of Dr. Doom
"Well FML", thought Symba, "One minute you're King of the Jungle surveying all you command. The next some jacka$$ with a tranquilizer gun shows up and you're in Enumclaw about to star in someone's anal fantasy..."

Best of Dactyl
Turns out that wasn't courage after all. It was meth.

Best of Steve O
Deleted scenes from The Hangover.
The original plot had taken a different direction.

43 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

Guess I shouldn't have picked Ndamukong Suh for my fantasy team.

Anonymous said...

"Wait a minute! Wait a minute! What insurance plan is he covered under"?

Vinneh

custom research papers said...

great post!

Submariner said...

I dunno; he just sort of got sick after eating a cardboard cub filled with raw meat before MNF.

Submariner said...

I'll take "Erlacher/Briggs dreams of a perfect Tuesday morning" for $200, Alex...


v word - rehrons - What Astro watches in the second half of every TV season.

Submariner said...

Non-believers also tried to "fix Aslan."

Submariner said...

Why is the third doc from the left moving his tail out of the way, and where is the doc on the right's right hand?

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

Guy holding the head: "Remember, it is absolutely imperative that we all keep our gauze masks in place to avoid infecting the patient."

GregMan said...

Things just kept getting wierder at the Enumclaw STD Clinic.

GregMan said...

Things went rapidly downhill as the MGM lion turned to drugs and alcohol after the studio closed.

GregMan said...

"Large Mammal Rectal Examination" was unsurprisingly the most popular class at the Enumclaw School Of Veterinary Medicine.

dadoctah said...

"I can haz rilly big innerveenis cheezburger?"

Unscrupulous said...

Who knew the circle of life includes a rectal exam by five pre-med douche bags.

Unscrupulous said...

Look, Simba. Everything the light touches is our kingdom. Our kingdom now includes my ass hole.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Constipated lion's groggy thawtbubble - This is so unfair. All the damn signs say "Don't feed the animals" - not one warned US not to eat zoo patrons!

-OR-

"Living in a zoo will be great!
There's tons of free food and you'll get 72 virgin lionesses!"

F**K you, Marlin Perkins and you, too, Attenborough!

-OR-

Lion Thawtbubble: All in all, I think I proved my point... You can take the black guy out of the jungle but you can't take the little black kid out of my stomach!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Dr. House and Thirteen are standing at the observation window when House mumbles... "OK, maybe I have taken a few too many pain pills. I could swear they're putting a lion on the operating table."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Jungle Almanac
He's coming in like a lion but according to the charts he'll be going out like a lamb.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Doctor: So, did any of you have to eat raw lion testicles as part of your intern hazing ritual?
Lion Thawtbubble: WHAT??? I'm just in here for a thorn in my paw!!!!

jj said...

The doctors at Macon County General now try to find parts of Tayshawn....

jj said...

The Columbian drug cartels failed miserably trying to use wild animals to guard the poppy crops after they discover the animals had eaten all of the crops....and some of the cartel members...

mpur said...

No! Not my balls!

racerboy said...

ORA: "I'm gonna get tutored!!!"

Submariner said...

When they said we were needed in the OR stat in order to sew up the President's big-ass pussy, NATURALLY I thought they were talking about Biden...

dadoctah said...

It was either this or X-ray some Kardashian's ass. I drew the long straw.

Spineless Vertebrae said...

If you knew what she looked like before, you'd know the plastic surgery was actually a success for Sarah Jessica Parker.

Dactyl said...

Feline suppositories, they're GRRRRREAT!!!

(ORA?)

Mr. Right said...

LION: "Damn! I knew I should've checked the expiration date on that Christian!"

Mr. Right said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mr. Right said...

So what did you think was going to happen when Charlie Sheen ran short of tiger blood?

Anonymous said...

Ang Lee, with a script written by
Andrew Sullivan, films the remake of Disney's "The Lion King".
Of course, in keeping up with society, since they cut the lions
d!ck off, it's now titled
"The Lion Thing"

Dr. Doom said...

"Well FML", thought Symba, "One minute you're King of the Jungle surveying all you command. The next some jacka$$ with a tranquilizer gun shows up and you're in Enumclaw about to star in someone's anal fantasy..."

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Submariner said...

REMUVIN HAIRBALZ: UR DUIN IT RONG

Submariner said...

ORA

Looks like Medicare is finally gonna Fix Clarence's eyes.

Dactyl said...

Turns out that wasn't courage after all. It was meth.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Doctor: Blue Cross Blue Shill's outsourced rules navigator in the Philippines insists this lion's supposed to get the breast augmentation while Miss Wiggims is being put down. I sure would love to get a second opinion.
Nurse: No second opinions per page 1284, paragraph 18.
Doctor: Ah well, rules is rules. Okay, whaddya think... 36-DD big enough?

Steve O said...

So, I hear that The Lion King has been hanging out with Charlie Sheen.

Steve O said...

Deleted scenes from The Hangover.

The original plot had taken a different direction.

Kaptain Krude said...

ORA: Looks like Mankind for the Ethical Animal Treatment didn't put out enough tofu.

Anonymous said...

Wow. That is one big floppy pussy.

-Oiao

Submariner said...

Putting the "Doc" in Datari; your doing it pretty well actually...

Submariner said...

I guess some pussies require a pit crew for serviincing.