1. "Forget it, Tony. No matter how hard you rub, you will never get the imagery of 'Two Girls One Cup' out of your eyes."
2. "Hey, Buck up, little camper. If Brokeback Mountain taught us anything, it's that cowboys know how to comfort one another, IYKWIMAITTYD."
3. "I'd like to tell you that it wasn't your fault we lost. I'd like to, but I can't. Loser."
4. He had lots of hype and high expectations going into the game. But hope soon faded into intense disappointment with his actual performance. But, enough about Rick Perry...
5. "If it makes you feel better, new episodes of True Blood are starting. You pansy-ass crybabies are into that sort of thing, aren't you?"
Threadwinner Eleventy!!!!111!!!! Dactyl
Suddenly, Tony Romo realized that shit is fucked up and bullshit.
Best of Dr. Doom
"There there - look on the bright side Tony", said the fullback, "At least you won't have to play injured in the playoffs..."
Best of Whacko
"Look, Johnson, I was kicked in the crotch, OK? I'm rubbing my eyes instead because I don't want to wind up on V the K's Caption This."
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
I am not crying! I'm trying to put my eyeballs back in their sockets. Watch where you step, one's still on the ground.
Best of Passionate Conservative
Crying? There's no crying in football!!!!
Best of GregMan
Proving Internet rumors everywhere, Tony gets a Johnson in the face.
Best of USMC2841
One more interception and we switch the "R" for an "H".
Obvious Best of jj
We lost to the LIONS????
Best of Spineless Vertebra
"So you couldn't get it up for Jessica or Carrie but you got it up when I was around in the locker room?" asked A. Johnson. "I think you have romosexual tendencies."
Best of Matt the K
It's ok. It happens sometimes. Happens to the best of us.I'll just button up my butt flap, and we'll try again later.
27 comments:
"Coach said if I threw one more interception he was going to change my jersey number to 69", wailed Tony...
"No Tony let me show you how to do it", said Bruce, "this stance is called the Packer..."
"There there - look on the bright side Tony", said the fullback, "At least you won't have to play injured in the playoffs..."
"Look, Johnson, I was kicked in the crotch, OK? I'm rubbing my eyes instead because I don't want to wind up on V the K's Caption This."
I know what'll cheer you up... go kick that jiveass nappy headed black dude in the gonads and watch as Dawn's head explodes on the big screen!
Bad News: Romo's now a eunuch
More Bad News: Hey, nancy boi, you just got an offer from a scout to play for the GLBT League.
I am not crying! I'm trying to put my eyeballs back in their sockets. Watch where you step, one's still on the ground.
Crying? There's no crying in football!!!!
Look at the bright side, Ton; "Glee" is looking for a new spoprano for th cast...
Massage 'em down outta my neck, Johnson. I REALLY want to get rid of the taste of my own "mountain oysters..."
Jeebus; Would ya look at the size of Romo's Johnson!?!
"I can't believe he quit me!"
Proving Internet rumors everywhere, Tony gets a Johnson in the face.
52: "I'm what you just tripped over."
One more interception and we switch the "R" for an "H".
We lost to the LIONS????
If it makes you feel any better, you can be the center on the next play...
"Look dude, if you stop crying I'll give you cuts in the line for #8....."
"So you couldn't get it up for Jessica or Carrie but you got it up when I was around in the locker room?" asked A. Johnson. "I think you have romosexual tendencies."
If you have the choice between dating the Cowboys, or the Cowboy's cheerleaders, always date the Cowboys.
The cheerleaders might be Hot, but the Cowboys will always F--- you!
(Based on an Artie Lang joke)
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Don't worry it gets easier. I started out as a "tight end" and now I'm a "wide receiver".
It's ok. It happens sometimes. Happens to the best of us.I'll just button up my butt flap, and we'll try again later.
Suddenly, Tony Romo realized that shit is fucked up and bullshit.
Relax, I'm not injured... but I need the golf cart and a blanket. That late hit made me crap in my shorts and that's one picture VtheK ain't gonna post!
"Tony, are you ready for some football"?
Vinneh
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