Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The Book of Tax Loopholes for Democrat Donors

Brender


1. The Book of Obama's Failures, Volume I of IX.

2. The Guide to Understanding Women is finally complete. The pamphlet, Guide to Understanding Men, has been available for some time.

3. "Someone call Paris Hilton and tell her her lab results are in."

4. The Obama Administration said critics of its latest round of new business regulations should just "STFU and hire people."

5. "This can't be the whole list of women who are more attractive than Sarah Jessica Parker. I'll ask the librarian if there are more volumes."

6. "Awwww... crap. This is the last time I buy a term paper from a spammer on the internet. They charge by the page."

Best of Dr. Doom
Brother Maynard consults the Book of Armaments...

Best of Double the U
The complete list of times Dawn's head has exploded. The 2011 listings.

Best of Rodney Dill
"Yep... Our entry is still only Mostly harmless."

Best of Jack Reacher
Jobs you're not qualified for with a degree that ends in "-studies."

Best of Jack Reacher
I see the federal government is still hard at work on that hard-copy backup of the Internet.

Best of dub
"How to Find The Clitoris" proved to be just too much reading for Carl.

Best of metalgarth
"Who's idea was it to make a complete list of standard captions and ORAs?"

Best of jj
Let's see...a five letter word for utter failure...begins with ob and ends with a....

Best of Artfldgr
Peter wondered if the new password they gave him was their way of saying they dont need him any more...

Best of Submariner
"People The Clinton's Offed"
Volume VII; MCD - PAT

Best of Submariner
"Unfunny Family Circus Cartoons"
Mar 2, 1972 - Aug 13, 1976

Best of Kaptain Krude
"I'd like to see that bastard Superman tear *THIS* phone book in half!"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
The National Association of Bankers' new standardized credit card agreement.

Best of Mr. Hankey
White House staff prepare the list of Obama's planned pardons before leaving office.

Best of Dactyl
The centerfold is so huge it takes four guys to pull it out, and you can count every freckle on her inner diameter slope.

Best of Submariner
McPatterson's owner reviews the Health Code Violations listed in his September Inspection report.

55 comments:

Dr. Doom said...

Brother Maynard consults the Book of Armaments...

Rodney Dill said...

"The instruction manual for the latest FACEBOOK changes is out."

Dr. Doom said...

Congressman Frank's page searches the condensed version of the Obamacare bill for death panel loopholes...

Double the U said...

The complete list of times Dawn's head has exploded. The 2011 listings.

blue said...

"The new phone book is here, the new phone book is here"

Unscrupulous said...

So THAT's how many Chin's are in a Chinese phone book!

Rodney Dill said...

"Yep... Our entry is still only Mostly harmless."

ORA

Rodney Dill said...

Barack's and Michelle's Vacation Getaway Guide.

Rodney Dill said...

How To Make The Perfect Cup of Coffee

Jack Reacher said...

Looks like the NYC ordinances on smoking, salt, and trans-fats have been published.

Jack Reacher said...

Jobs you're not qualified for with a degree that ends in "-studies."

Jack Reacher said...

I see the federal government is still hard at work on that hard-copy backup of the Internet.

dub said...

"How to Find The Clitoris" proved to be just too much reading for Carl.

metalgarth said...

"The complete list of thought crimes committed at Caption This!" by Dawn

metalgarth said...

"Who's idea was it to make a complete list of standard captions and ORAs?"

JohnS1959 said...

Francois reviews The Complete Guide to French Military Defeats...

JohnS1959 said...

Dr. Archibald looks up a reference in Say What? - The Life and Times of Joe Biden, Vol 13 - The Vice Presidential Years...

jj said...

Let's see...a five letter word for utter failure...begins with ob and ends with a....

jj said...

The daily roster of 'visitors' to the FEMA education camps grows daily...

jj said...

Big Sis' listing of registered Bibles and registered gun owners...Tennessee volume...

Anonymous said...

"That stupid SOB. It's right here in plain English. Can't he read"?

Vinneh

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The IRS publishes a "simplified" explanation of how they're complying with the Paperwork Reduction Act.

-OR-

Congressional Record Appendix IX - Complete Works of Newt Gingrich's Bloviation

-OR-

WikiLeaks releases a money flow chart between Wall Street, off-shore shell companies and congressmen on the take. [2008 edition]

-OR-

The original UNabridged version of War & Peace.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

For just $29.95 (plus $115 s/h) you can own Matt Lasko's lastest book - "How to Get the 1% to Pay Your BILLS!!"

-OR-

Guinness World Record holder Sigmund Cheevers shows off his "List of Jobs Sigmund Cheevers Isn't Qualified to Perform"

Artfldgr said...

When your the most interesting man in the world, your life story has more weight than all the others... Stay thirsty my friends

Artfldgr said...

In the year 2428 they finally found a way to get rid of the fine print...

Artfldgr said...

This is wonderful!!! If it weren't for computers saving paper, we would have had to have 10 of these!

Artfldgr said...

No wonder the actuaries from the IRS didnt want to go through Bernie Madoffs records...

Artfldgr said...

Arthur never did understand "crib" sheet...

Artfldgr said...

Peter wondered if the new password they gave him was their way of saying they dont need him any more...

Artfldgr said...

Danversk Jeter was beside himself with joy when he saw what they wanted him to proof read for errors... at that point he knew that looking for work would never be a problem again

Artfldgr said...

Finally the question to the answer to the question of life was in his hands, but then he noticed the printer ribbon was running out...

Artfldgr said...

67lbs of print out saying "i know the answer, you dont, nyah nyah" was not what Harold expected when running his latest work through the CRAY...

Artfldgr said...

More amazing that there was a print out like that, was that there was a shelf in the back with lots of empty binders like that...

Artfldgr said...

Eula's get worse every year for IT...

dadoctah said...

What the typical Barnes & Noble bricks-n-mortar customer looks like to a kid from the Kindle generation.

Submariner said...

"People The Clinton's Offed"
Volume VII; MCD - PAT

Submariner said...

"Unfunny Family Circus Cartoons"
Mar 2, 1972 - Aug 13, 1976

Submariner said...

"US Inventions Russia Claims To Have Invented First And Japan Builds Better And Cheaper"

Submariner said...

Sex Acts Legal On Folsom Street

Submariner said...

Erotic Outfits Owned By AoM

marco said...

M'chelle's blueprint for a healthier school diet, with appendix on what stores near schools should NOT sell.

Kaptain Krude said...

Just how *DO* you spell 'ennui' anyway?

Kaptain Krude said...

"I'd like to see that bastard Superman tear *THIS* phone book in half!"

Rodney Dill said...

Damn... they spelled my name wrong again.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The National Association of Bankers' new standardized credit card agreement.

-OR-

This is what happens if you ask a lawyer to draw up a simple contract.

-OR-

US Army's specs list for suppliers of MRE's.

-OR-

Manufacturers whined (as usual) after seeing the FDA's revised nutritional "label" to be attached to every package on store shelves.

-OR-

Hey, I have that pr0n flip-book in my closet!

Rodney Dill said...

FOIA be damned!

GregMan said...

The new, 'carbon-neutral' Slinky was somewhat of a disappointment, but the manufacturer still got a $500 billion grant from the federal government to mass-produce it.

Rodney Dill said...

DOD specification for a paper clip.

sonicfrog said...

Joe Biden Gaffes; Volume 1 of 18.

Mr. Hankey said...

White House staff prepare the list of Obama's planned pardons before leaving office.

Dactyl said...

The centerfold is so huge it takes four guys to pull it out, and you can count every freckle on her inner diameter slope.

Silhouette said...

Understanding Women.

Silhouette said...

Charlie Sheen's little black book

mega said...

MoveOn's acquisition under FOIA of "Drone Strikes: 2011" was a ... bittersweet victory of sorts.

Submariner said...

McPatterson's owner reviews the Health Code Violations listed in his September Inspection report.