Friday, September 30, 2011

A weak Sci-Fi Friday Offering


1. Mormons in space.

2.  Say what you will, the Solyndra offices were kind of cool.

3. Starbucks remodels all 450,000 stores, but retains the crappy jazz music.

4. "I like my coffee like I like my First Ladies; cold, black, and bitter.

5. He: "The replicator must be malfunctioning. This coffee tastes like someone peed in it." She: "Alternately, the replicator may be working fine and the douchebag who made someone sleep on the wet spot is getting it right back."

Best of Dr. Doom
"Yes I suppose we could program the food replicator to provide butt closures", replied Adara, "But why would you want to?"

Best of Whacko
"I like your outfit too. Just like I like the same outfit on all 3 billion people of this godforsaken futuristic planet"

Best of dadoctah
"I see you've got the new iPad 27."

Best of GregMan
"If you have to spill it at least try to spill it on your left arm so the stain won't show."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Timmy, with men's uniforms, the orange sleeve goes on the right. Yeah, sure, "the laundrybot made a mistake." Like I haven't heard that one before, you cross-dressing perv.

Best of blue
I'd invite you over to my place buy I share with 255 other clones...

Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
"hey baby, what say we take off our orange virginity sleeves?"

Best of Jack Reacher
"Coffee?"
"Yes, I know."

Best of JohnS1959
"Computer - analyze etymology of the phrase Go kiss a moose", ordered Lt. Jones after his latest rejection...

Best of Matt the K
"Ok, YES, I know there's a midget dangling from my armpit. DEAL with it."

23 comments:

prince of leaves said...

Funny that the 1999 of "Space: 1999" looks a lot more futuristic than the 2149 of "Terra Nova".

Dr. Doom said...

"Yes I suppose we could program the food replicator to provide butt closures", replied Adara, "But why would you want to?"

Whacko said...

"I like your outfit too. Just like I like the same outfit on all 3 billion people of this godforsaken futuristic planet"

Whacko said...

"Let's sneak off to the holodeck"
"Great. How will I know you?"
"I'll be wearing a tan jump suit with orange sleeves."

Dr. Doom said...

"Hey baby", cooed Captain Aldous, "How about we go back to my habitation pod and conduct a level four probe of your sub-space containment field?"

dadoctah said...

"I see you've got the new iPad 27."

dadoctah said...

"Have you heard about Ron Paul?"

GregMan said...

"So, are you all ready for What The Future Would've Looked Like If Obama Hadn't Killed The Manned Space Program night?"

GregMan said...

"Just pretend it's 'Hyper-Neutronium-Coffee' and drink it, you big baby!"

GregMan said...

"If you have to spill it at least try to spill it on your left arm so the stain won't show."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

You'll get used to this artificial gravity messing with things. See? Even the coffee doesn't slosh around when I tip it like this.

-OR-

Timmy, with men's uniforms, the orange sleeve goes on the right. Yeah, sure, "the laundrybot made a mistake." Like I haven't heard that one before, you cross-dressing perv.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Raul, how is your hair always so poofy? My hair's limp and oily thanks to that damned low-flow showerhead!
ORA Seinfeld

Spin said...

"Coffee?"

"No, not since Anderson Cooper made that face back in 2011.
After all it was his only claim ti fame"

blue said...

I'd invite you over to my place buy I share with 255 other clones...

Chronos the Wonder Pig said...

"hey baby, what say we take off our orange virginity sleeves?"

White Castle Slider said...

"Was that one or two dilitium crystals in your latte, Sir?"

Jack Reacher said...

"So, what questions do you have about Dianetics?"

Jack Reacher said...

"Welcome to Solyndra. Be sure to help yourself to some cash before you leave."

Jack Reacher said...

"Coffee?"
"Yes, I know."

JohnS1959 said...

"Computer - analyze etymology of the phrase Go kiss a moose", ordered Lt. Jones after his latest rejection...

Matt the K said...

Well, MY hairdo looks 1999. Yours...not so much.

Matt the K said...

"Coffee, tea, or Zorg juice?"

Matt the K said...

"Ok, YES, I know there's a midget dangling from my armpit. DEAL with it."