Monday, September 12, 2011

Soup Marxist


1. Soup Marxist says, "No soup for capitalist oppressors!"

2. Soup Marxist proclaims, "I don't care if you haven't even cut the vegetables yet. I demand that you serve this soup immediately!"

3. Soup Marxist claims to have created or saved over 3,000,000 bowls of soup.

4. Soup Marxist helps himself to some Buttery Mustard Duck with a Minestrone Flavor. (See what I did there? LOL)

5. Bandana Chick: "I don't know who the new guy is, but so far he's dumped four pots of broth down the sink, he's been handling raw chicken meat with his bare hands all morning, he set the kitchen on fire... And then he whines that no one gives him credit for the job he's doing."

Best of Dr. Doom
After two years of searching, Mr. Obama finally discovers a shovel ready project. Eatin' shovel that is...

Best of Double the U
Well Mr Obama... you did say something about "according to his need, according to his ability." and you barely have the ability to do that.

Best of Jack Reacher
After six months and $18,500,000 in government loans, the solar soup kitchen is about to serve its first bowl. The building will be shuttered and all employees laid off tomorrow.

Best of mpur
In a parallel universe, where 52% of the voters are not complete idiots, Barak Obama finds himself in a career more suited to his talents and qualifications.

Best of Submariner
Meanwhile, behind the curtain at a Chicago area Planned Parenthood Clinic, a community organizer cleans out the "examination" room...

Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
"Girlfriend, I'm serious! He dumped a whole pot of soup out on the floor, then turned his bony ass around and said he had inhereted the mess!"

Best of Steve O
In 2013...
"Even Jimmy Carter isn't allowed to scoop the soup!" thought Barry proudly.

27 comments:

Dr. Doom said...

After two years of searching, Mr. Obama finally discovers a shovel ready project. Eatin' shovel that is...

Dr. Doom said...

"Man, I had no idea this job re-training would be so difficult", muttered Mr. Obama.

Rodney Dill said...

Pea soup

Rodney Dill said...

Obama wins another Nobel prize for Whirled Peas.

Double the U said...

Well Mr Obama... you did say something about "according to his need, according to his ability." and you barely have the ability to do that.

Chuck Martel said...

Where's the arugula?

Jack Reacher said...

"If the new guy doesn't keep yelling 'Pass the duck bill' I'm gonna smack him."

Jack Reacher said...

After six months and $18,500,000 in government loans, the solar soup kitchen is about to serve its first bowl. The building will be shuttered and all employees laid off tomorrow.

Jack Reacher said...

He was pulled from duty at the drive-through window after telling customers he inherited the fries from the midnight shift, and wasn't responsible for them.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

O Thawtbubble - People actually eat this crap? I wouldn't feed this to a Portuguese Waterpig.

-OR-

Would you like fries wit dat?
Would you like fries wit dat?
Would you like fries wit dat?
Would you like flies wit dis?
Dang, I think I almost had it.

mpur said...

In a parallel universe, where 52% of the voters are not complete idiots, Barak Obama finds himself in a career more suited to his talents and qualifications.

jj said...

Damn...this feels tighter than M'chelle...

Submariner said...

Thawt bubble; "Turkey ala King? Maybe I can, um, get a dish named Arugala ala, uh, Obamala..."

Submariner said...

Thawt bubble; "I've worked my fingers, uh, until they're, um blue in the face, but do I get any, um, sympathy? No..."

Submariner said...

"Can somebody take, uh, over slopping the, um, plebians for me?"
"NO!"
"You'd, um, do it for, uh, Randolph Scott!"

Submariner said...

Meanwhile, behind the curtain at a Chicago area Planned Parenthood Clinic, a community organizer cleans out the "examination" room...

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

"Girlfriend, I'm serious! He dumped a whole pot of soup out on the floor, then turned his bony ass around and said he had inhereted the mess!"

Steve O said...

It's good to have more than one skill.

Or in Barry's case -- one skill.

Steve O said...

In 2013...

"Even Jimmy Carter isn't allowed to scoop the soup!" thought Barry proudly.

Steve O said...

Barry thinks that maybe he should suggest the title "Soup of My Father" to Bill Ayers.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The Peter Principle really is self-correcting!

-OR-

Volunteers' Thawtbubbles: "There goes the neighborhood."

-OR-

"A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Waste"
Uh, Mr. President, just because you wore gloves while using the restroom doesn't mean you can skip washing your hands before coming back here!

Anonymous said...

"Step on it Soetoro. We need fries NOW"!

Vinneh

Anonymous said...

Obama gets ready for 2013.

Vinneh

Rodney Dill said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rodney Dill said...

Obama(thinking): "________________"

Anonymous said...

Obama Twat Bubble: "The shit I suffer through to be elected, um, ah, again." "and, um, note to self, throw Axlerod and Carney under the bus."


Oiao

Rodney Dill said...

"If he keeps humming 'Put dee Lime in de Coconut,' I'm gonna smack him."