1. "You say this sandwich represents my economic policies? I'm flattered. What is this pungent brown filling?"
2. "Before we, um, eat.... you should all say, um, grace... and thank, um, me for the bounty that I have um, placed before you."
3. Goofus proudly shows off his booger to the other diners, while Gallant... is in the parking lot slapping a "Hillary 2012" sticker on his Volvo.
4. "So when are you evil capitalist bastards who need to be regulated and taxed up the wazoo gonna start hiring people to make my unemployment numbers look good?"
5. "It looks like your sandwich, is, um, bitterly clinging to its buns and relish."
Best of Dr. Doom
In other news today, the President held a working lunch with his newly appointed Amerikkkan Jobs Committee. They reportedly dined on Cuban Sandwiches, Canadian bacon, egg rolls, and enchiladas.
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Hey, you gonna finish your fries? I promised 'Chel I'd bring her something.
Best of metalgarth
PULL FINGER FOR EKONOMIC STIMULASS
Best of blue
"who wants some more peas?"
Threadweiner: Capt. Queeg
Next on an all-new, very special Family Matters, Urkel is invited to eat with the cool kids..
Best of Dactyl
Did you see me? I finished the whole maze and half the word search on my placemat before the food came!
Best of The Watcher
Hey, did any of you guys get hit with the 'Buffet tax'? Get it? 'Buffet tax?' Har, har, har...funny, eh?
Best of Rodney Dill
Striped Tie: (thinking) "He says how much he likes sweet potato pie one more time and I'm gonna smack him."
Best of JohnS1959
"Hey you might be on to something there Bob", mused the President, "Companies might be willing to pay higher taxes to avoid an endorsement by my administration. I'll have the Failure Czar look into it..."
31 comments:
"I'd get a Mohawk like yours but M'Chel would kill me"
Good thing!
Hey Michelle, bring me a sammich!
"YOU CAN'T EAT THAT!.... ha! Just kidding, you are with me, who the hell cares what Michelle says."
In other news today, the President held a working lunch with his newly appointed Amerikkkan Jobs Committee. They reportedly dined on Cuban Sandwiches, Canadian bacon, egg rolls, and enchiladas.
I LIKE that... So, instead of labeling them "the middleclass", we call them the "potentially super rich" and hit them with an "accelerated anticipatory cap gain tax." Geithner's thinking we could do the same to "small" businesses... hit 'em with a confiscatory "proactive anti-monopoly" tax. I'll balance this damn budget yet!
-OR-
Hey, you gonna finish your fries? I promised 'Chel I'd bring her something.
PULL FINGER FOR EKONOMIC STIMULASS
"That's brilliant!" beamed an exhuberent Obama,"We'll just call it a revenue enhancement, not a tax!"
"How am I suppose to eat this without a shovel?" asked the president.
"who wants some more peas?"
Next on an all-new, very special Family Matters, Urkel is invited to eat with the cool kids..
Now all of you understand that when M'chelle asks, I had a lettuce and tomato sandwich. Now give me that damn cheeseburger!
Let's see, counting Mr. Clinton, who's running a little late, that'll be five coffees...
Obama: "I never eat anything bigger'n my head."
Striped Tie: "We're talkin' eatin' peas again, eh?"
"Okay, which one of you thought it would be funny to put the two black guys in the corner? It was you, wasn't it? Haha, good one."
You thought you saw M'Chel in the movie "Predator?" Ha! That's a good one. Don't EVER let her hear you say that!
"So what are we going to do today, Brain?"
Pull my, um, finger.
Some, uh, body.
Um, please?
So I sas to Biden, "Why don't you invite Mr. Cheney to go hunting?"
Did you see me? I finished the whole maze and half the word search on my placemat before the food came!
Hey, did any of you guys get hit with the 'Buffet tax'? Get it? 'Buffet tax?' Har, har, har...funny, eh?
"Did you, um, see the price of, um, arugula here? When we eat here again, I'll have to raise taxes just to cover the expense. (pause) HA! Just kidding! I'm going to, um, raise taxes anyway!"
"Now guys, this what I call a real happy meal. Anyone got a cigarette"?
Vinneh
"I swear! That's the same waitress who always used to say 'kiss mah grits!'"
"Say, now that I have repealed DADT, what are you boys doing tonight?"
Striped Tie: (thinking) "He says how much he likes sweet potato pie one more time and I'm gonna smack him."
"Hey guys, you know what I just realized? If I was white, we wouldn't be here, because I'd be an assistant manager in a Home Depot."
"Hey you might be on to something there Bob", mused the President, "Companies might be willing to pay higher taxes to avoid an endorsement by my administration. I'll have the Failure Czar look into it..."
"Hey, um, good-looking, um, we'll, um, we'll be back for you, um, later."
"Um, you uh, you guys are going to have to, um, make a hole. Here comes, uh, here comes M'Chell with her eating shovel."
Post a Comment