Monday, September 19, 2011

SCOAMF Blows Squishface


1. Whenever he needs a little pick-me-up, Obama just buries his face in Michael Vick's old spunk towel.

2. And then he sobbed, bitterly, the way only a 50 year old man who has never been told "No" can sob.

3. "Maybe there are some flakes of cocaine in this towel!"

4. Sorry Mr. President, but you can not so easily erase the sight of Hillary in the men's room; you'll need good strong eye bleach for that.

5. "Lie with her! lie on her! We say lie on her, when they, um, belie her. Lie with her! that's fulsome. -- Handkerchief -- um, confessions -- handkerchief! -- To confess, and be hanged for his labour; -- first, to be hanged, and then to confess. -- I tremble at it. Nature would not, um, invest herself in such shadowing passion without some instruction. It is not words that, um, shake me thus. Pish! Noses, ears, and lips. -- Is't possible? -- Confess -- handkerchief! -- O devil!" (William Shakespeare, SCOAMF. Act IV scene 1)


Best of Double the U
"They said with a little chloroform I would be able to do anything I want..." Another in a long line of not-too-bright moments for the President.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Thawtbubble: SNIFFFFFF Ahhh, finally, I got one executive order right. Tide® does make the hankies smell fresher!

Best of Army of Dad
Face towel, when a face palm isn't enough!

Best of blue
"umm, Mr President, they can still see you, really...."

Best of Submariner
Good Gaia! M'Chel musta used these panties to clean Orca's tank!

Best of GregMan
In all honesty, I'd cry like a little girl too if the first thing I saw every morning was M'chel.

Best of jj
I'm tired of getting facials from Soros....

Best of Rodney Dill
Big tits are not a crime, but Michelle will gouge your eyes out if you look at some of them.

Best of Steve O
Awww. Were da bad tea people mean to you again...?

Best of prince of leaves
They used to fetch premium donations, but nowadays the Lightworker's "Shroud of Turin"-like faceprints on silk cloth were lucky to bring in $5 from GoldenPalace.com.

27 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

"I knew I should have run faster when I heard Joe yell, 'PENIS GOOD TIME NOW' (sniff)"

Dr. Doom said...

Get off it Mr. President - it is the Amerikkkan people who are suffering from Buyer's Remorse...

Double the U said...

"They said with a little chloroform I would be able to do anything I want..." Another in a long line of not-too-bright moments for the President.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

You say to-mAY-tow, I say to-mah-tow
Obamalama Snotbubble: "White hanky or white honky, don't make no nevermind what I blow long as I keeps my nose clean."

-OR-

Thawtbubble: SNIFFFFFF Ahhh, finally, I got one executive order right. Tide® does make the hankies smell fresher!

Army of Dad said...

Face towel, when a face palm isn't enough!

Anonymous said...

"I want my mommie."

Vinneh

blue said...

"umm, Mr President, they can still see you, really...."

dub said...

Obama emerges from another meeting with Mr Clinton.

Submariner said...

Good Gaia! M'Chel musta used these panties to clean Orca's tank!

Submariner said...

Biden gives The One a used sweat sock and everyone in the East Wing finds out why M'Chel calls him "Lassie."

GregMan said...

"Waaah, those mean old rethuglicans won't let me raise taxes any more, waaah!"

Obambi reacts to his latest legislative setback with the grace and poise only a true community organizer can show.

GregMan said...

In all honesty, I'd cry like a little girl too if the first thing I saw every morning was M'chel.

jj said...

I'm tired of getting facials from Soros....

Submariner said...

Oh, uh, ennui; when will, um, I release, um, you?

dadoctah said...

Working on his John Boehner impersonation....

Submariner said...

Looks like the NY Times verified the Fox polls...

Submariner said...

M'Chel survived? Oh Gaia! I'm screwed...

Rodney Dill said...

Big tits are not a crime, but Michelle will gouge your eyes out if you look at some of them.

Kaptain Krude said...

"Good, um, heavens, I forgot that it is, um, inadvis- um, inadvisable to stand behind M'Chel, um, when she has her, um, eating shovel out."

Kaptain Krude said...

"Gaia, the backwash from the speed of M'Chel using her eating shovel nearly tore my face off!"

Kaptain Krude said...

"It, um, it worked for Elvis; I don't see any reason why it won't work for me. Now, um, to find my adoring fans."

Rodney Dill said...

I find your lack of face disturbing.

Rodney Dill said...

The U.S. loses face with the world again. (though we keep seeming to find it around the golf course)

Steve O said...

Awww. Were da bad tea people mean to you again...?

prince of leaves said...

Thoughtbubble: "Hey, this 'prayer towel' Hillary gave me smells an awful lot like almon--- [KERTHUMP]"

prince of leaves said...

They used to fetch premium donations, but nowadays the Lightworker's "Shroud of Turin"-like faceprints on silk cloth were lucky to bring in $5 from GoldenPalace.com.

Kaptain Krude said...

prince of leaves said...

Thoughtbubble: "Hey, this 'prayer towel' Hillary gave me smells an awful lot like almon--- [KERTHUMP]"


That's awesome, man, just plain awesome! That's the threadwinner for sure!