1. "Dammit! At this rate, there won't be any ribs left by the time I get to the buffet." (ATDHE)
2. Somewhere, a shivering pimp wishes he had his jacket back.
3. And with that glare, the entire Steelers offensive line turned gay.
4. A second later, she whipped out her b'atleth and decapitated the p'tagh who took her fries.
5. "What do you mean I can't go on another vacation?
Best of metalgarth
Once Spock stopped answering her communicator messages, Uhuru's demeanor changed dramatically
Best of blue
"Just set my eating shovel down & no one gets hurt!"
Best of dub
"Bitch cut in front of me to get into the big Old Navy sale".
Best of GregMan
"How comes you mo-fo's never invites my Barry to your flash mobs?"
Best of USMC2841
"watch u talkin' 'bout, Willis?"
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Oh hell, who let Couric in the Oval Office?? She's eyeing the drapes! She's seen my outfit! If she puts two and two together and asks me about this I'll smack her with my eatin' shovel.
Best of Jack Reacher
"Snow leopard? No, I haven't seen any. Don't know nothin' 'bout no snow leopard. Move on, please."
Best of Spineless Vertebra
Michelle after finding out that Barack was looking for dem white women.
Best of Submariner
ORA: Thawt bubble; "Barry NEVER asks for a second cup of coffee when I make it..."
Best of Dactyl
Uh oh, the guy from MSNBC just sat on Michelle's big red hat.
Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
A big ass is not a crime!!
Best of Steve O
Armed with new speaking skills after watching an episode of "Friends," Michele applies Joey's "smell a fart" technique to convey thoughtfulness.