Saturday, September 10, 2011

Men on a Mission


Best of Submariner
I'm tired of doors being shut. Let's start with a new opening next time. How's about we start with, "Pardon me, do you have a moment so I can tell you about Ron Paul?"

Best of Rodney Dill
You see.... We're on a mission... a mission from Army of Mom

Best of Censors Hip
Hey boys, Nancy Reagen wants to meet you

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Aaron and Delmar were notorious rapscallions, but stiffing the Ogden Dairy Queen with a "lick and dash" shocked the entire community and prompted calls for a daytime curfew.

Best of Submariner
Hey boys, AoM called and wondered whether you knew how to tie a clove hitch to a bed post with those ties?

Best of Kaptain Krude
How dare that old woman tell us to f*ck off? You know what I should have said to her? I should have said, "No, YOU f*ck off!" Then I'd b*tch-slap her and force a Bible down HER throat! Come on, finish your Popsicle, and then we'll march right on back there and give her a what-for!

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

"So Joshua, how many wives can we each have if we move to that compound in Texas?"

Oiao

(I took the easy one)

Anonymous said...

"Why does everyone keep telling us 'they gave at the office' when we knock on their door?"

Oiso

Submariner said...

Later they'll have corn dogs and pudding...

Submariner said...

Good thing we're not Catholics; these would of had to be fish-ka-bobs...

Submariner said...

When you're done, wanna go shopping at Old Navy?

ATDHBIAHS*







*And Then Dawn's Head Broke Into A Huge Smile

Submariner said...

I'm tired of doors being shut. Let's start with a new opening next time. How's about we start with, "Pardon me, do you have a moment so I can tell you about Ron Paul?"

Rodney Dill said...

Let me guess.... double dip

Rodney Dill said...

Yeah, we attend Bigamy Young University.

jj said...

Intern applicants at Bwarney Fwrank's office had to prove their...uh...ability.

Rodney Dill said...

The Blue Brothers ain't got nuthin' on the Boobs Brothers.

Rodney Dill said...

You see.... We're on a mission... a mission from Army of Mom

Carpe Phlogiston said...

C'mon Jerome! The man said if we finished in under a minute he'd listen to our idiotic spiel.
But, Harry, I'm getting a really bad brainfreeze!
Keep licking!! Our faith is being tested! You don't wanna lose another soul to those wacko Scientologists, do ya?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

FBI agent trainees take part in their first surveillance test: Blend in at the Quantico Wal-Mart. = FAIL

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Delta Pilot Thawtbubble: This job was a helluva lot more fun when I could have a couple martinis just before take-off.
Delta Navigator Thawtbubble: If Steve mentions my overshooting Atlanta by 800-miles again, I'm gonna jam this stick in his ear.

Rodney Dill said...

The flavours? Salmon & Chicken & Original, of course.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Been advised probably not a blurry picture of a caramel candy apple on a stick, so...

Delta Pilot Thawtbubble: This job was a helluva lot more fun when I could have a couple martinis just before take-off.
Delta Navigator Thawtbubble: If Steve mentions my overshooting Atlanta by 800-miles again, I'm gonna jam this cone in his ear.

dub said...

Do Not Enter? Johnny secretly knew better about what Josh does during missionary camp.

blue said...

Ice cream is the only thing Mormons get to lick

Censors Hip said...

Hey boys, Nancy Reagen wants to meet you

Submariner said...

Hey boys, AoM called and wants to test your faith in other ways...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Aaron and Delmar were notorious rapscallions, but stiffing the Ogden Dairy Queen with a "lick and dash" shocked the entire community and prompted calls for a daytime curfew.

Submariner said...

Hey boys, AoM called and wondered whether you knew how to tie a clove hitch to a bed post with those ties?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

As they quietly licked their cones both boys coincidentally began to daydream about giving Jennifer "Cartwheelie" Philpot a tongue swirly.
Speaking of coincidence, I'm daydreaming the same thing.

Spin said...

How to spot the 'bottom'


VW - rapid. yes his licking was.

Kaptain Krude said...

How dare that old woman tell us to f*ck off? You know what I should have said to her? I should have said, "No, YOU f*ck off!" Then I'd b*tch-slap her and force a Bible down HER throat! Come on, finish your Popsicle, and then we'll march right on back there and give her a what-for!

Dr. Doom said...

"Elder Jones, the Book clearly states that thou shall lick thy ice cream only from bottom to top", instrcuted Elder Smith, "If you keep going sideways like that, no respectable girls will want to be your wives. And besides - what would Mitt say?"

racerboy said...

Apparently, the one on the right came with a twist...