Friday, September 23, 2011

The First and Last Day of Autumn



1. Attack Watch takes care of an Obama critic.

2."Has, um, anyone, um, seen, um, M'Chel's, um, 'back massager.'"

3. Dick Cheney deals conclusively with those kids who were on his lawn.

4. In October 2015, Obama finally locates the last surviving capitalist in America and "takes the son of a bitch out."

5. Bender was a reluctant test subject for Dr. Farnsworth's catapult.

Best of Rodney Dill
    USPS collaborates with the DOD to improve upon delivery times.

Best of JohnS1959
    Termite problem solved in 3...2...1...

Best of Rodney Dill
    "Toldya not to shoot first on the Deathstar, Pa."

Best of Rodney Dill
    "Where'd NASA say that satellite was comin' down again ma?"

Threadwinner: Silhouette
    We're safe. I secured all the windows with butt closures.

Best of Kaptain Krude
    ORA: "The bay doors open and out falls Calvin, the C-bomb!"

Best of Oiao
    If you look really, really closely, you can see Slim Pickins riding that thang!

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    Something goes horribly wrong when the limo fails to pick up the Flokner family right before the season premier of ABC's Extreme Makeover begins with a bang.

Best of Matt the K
    Yippie yi Ohhhhh
    Yippie yi yaaaaay
    Ghost Dildos in the Sky

Best of Submariner
    "Achmed! Will you stop that infernal whistling?"
    "I'M not whistling Farouq; I thought YOU were..."

Best of Steve O
    In response to complaints that "all they did was to create 10 more terrorists," the CIA kills 10 more terrorists.

43 comments:

Rodney Dill said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rodney Dill said...


Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Rodney Dill said...

USPS collaborates with the DOD to improve upon delivery times.

JohnS1959 said...

Termite problem solved in 3...2...1...

custom essay said...

Great!)!

Rodney Dill said...

"Toldya not to shoot first on the Deathstar, Pa."

Submariner said...

Obama 12 had a special welcome package for new voters that registered as "Republican."

Submariner said...

Ennui released in 3... 2... 1...

Submariner said...

Ya really shouldn't 'a' been so nasty when ya told Mr. Putin he got the wrong White House, Homer.

Banana Republican said...

Knock Knock
Who's There?
Ka.....
Ka who
Ka-BOOM!!!!!

Rodney Dill said...

(Taliban meeting in Afghanistan): "OK its agreed, tomorrow we hit America, and we hit 'em hard, Allahu Akbar!"

Rodney Dill said...

"Where'd NASA say that satellite was comin' down again ma?"

Silhouette said...

We're safe. I secured all the windows with butt closures.

Submariner said...

How MSNBC asserts that the Republicans will resolve the Social Security Insolvency crisis.

Anonymous said...

"Say hello to my little friend"!

Vinneh

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Look, up in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane, it's... boy, Superman sure has let himself go.

-OR-

Aaaaaaaairrrrrrr Sssshhhhhhaaaaaarrrrkkkkkk!

-OR-

How do you know you're unluck? When yours is the only house for miles around and an entire defunct satellite survives reentry AND finds it... and you forgot to renew your homeowner's insurance.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Metaphor for Boehner's Debt Reduction Bomb - er "Plan" - just prior to the vote.

Submariner said...

Metaphor for what the Legislature is doing to our kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids' economic future by failing to resolve the debt crisis.

Submariner said...

When the gods play Jarts...

jimmy said...

Determined fans finally discover the "undisclosed location" where the head of ABC Daytime is hiding as the final episode of "All My Children" airs.

Steve O said...

Somebody prep another 720 virgins!

Steve O said...

The CIA's new TV commercial targets those video game jockeys who have a twisted streak.

Kaptain Krude said...

ORA: "The bay doors open and out falls Calvin, the C-bomb!"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Kaptain, that was too good an ORA to leave non-Calvin&Hobbesians (and a new gen of college students, of whom an estimated 70% can't excogitate Google searches) scratching their heads.

Dr. Doom said...

Looks like that F-18 pilot is bored again...

Submariner said...

One is left to ponder how wonderful life would be if this were a live action remake of Dr. Strangelove and Obama were in the Slim Pickens role...

Anonymous said...

If you look really, really closely, you can see Slim Pickins riding that thang!

- Oiao

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Something goes horribly wrong when the limo fails to pick up the Flokner family right before the season premier of ABC's Extreme Makeover begins with a bang.

Matt the K said...

Phew, that was a close call...good thing I lost my ticket for that air show!

Too soon?

Matt the K said...

Yippie yi Ohhhhh
Yippie yi yaaaaay
Ghost Dildos in the Sky

Kaptain Krude said...

Todd checked his watch for the tenth time in the past two minutes. He knew that Joe McGinnis was home, just finishing the last few pages of his new book. As his lips drew back into an anticipatory grin, Todd almost regretted pushing that button.

Almost.

jj said...

The R&D department at McDonald's feels the wrath of M'chelle.

jimmy said...

The teens learn too late that cranky "ol' man Ahmadenijad" doesn't like their crank phone calls at 4am.

Submariner said...

Space Ghost, Coast to Coast.

Submariner said...

"Achmed! Will you stop that infernal whistling?"
"I'M not whistling Farouq; I thought YOU were..."



v word - nooked - About to be...

Submariner said...

uhhhh, Ranch-swarm in 3... 2... 1...

Rodney Dill said...

"Hey Dad, the toilets stuck again."
"Jiggle the handle."

Steve O said...

In response to complaints that "all they did was to create 10 more terrorists," the CIA kills 10 more terrorists.

Steve O said...

Ready. Set. Smite.

dub said...

I love the smell of Democracy in the morning!

dub said...

Colonel Dub finally found the source of the fat Thursday women.

Steve O said...

That's gonna leave a mark!

Steve O said...

Where pink mist comes from.