Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Sort of Weird that Don't Ask Don't Tell Ended on a Tuesday, Isn't It?


1. What happens when you pass out drunk and your friends are really good with Sharpies.

2. "I just have to do about twenty more reps of my invisible dumb bell curls; they are surprisingly effective."

3. "Army of Mom, your personal hot oil wrestling instructor has arrived."

4. "Mornin' Got any beers?" Sadly, Bristol Palin's taste in men has not noticeably improved.

5. Just a reminder, if I had been a left-wing caption blogger, I could have sold out to HuffPo, cashed out on the AOL merger, retired from blogging and spent the rest of my days playing foosball with my personal assistant, Troy.

The sacrifices I make for you people.

Best of Rodney Dill
"Who took my f*ck'n Princess Sash?"

Best of jj
Hopefully he doesn't have Sons of Anarchy colors tattooed on his back. Removal will be very painful...

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
TATTOO QUIZ: Which area did Klem hand doodle himself while in juvie and which was done by a professional inker during a 3-day drunk in Chinatown?

Best of Dactyl
Larry had the best collection of tchotchkes and doodads in the halfway house.

Best of prince of leaves
Dave only got tats on his upper body and arms, so that the full glory of his amazing one-pack would never be obscured.

Best of prince of leaves
"Dammit, I don't CARE how drunk you think I am, I want that 'Gay Cock' design from the wall inked across my forehead NOW!!!"

14 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

"Who took my f*ck'n Princess Sash?"

USMC2841 said...

We shall swallow..er..overcome.

write my papers said...

Thanks for this post! i really enjoyed reading it!!!

Dr. Doom said...

Whatever you do - don't ask him to show you his peacock tattoo...

blue said...

withe the end of DADT today, all Ted has to worry about is the Marines ban on lower arm tattoos.....

dadoctah said...

David Arquette is not taking his marital breakup well.

Rodney Dill said...

"What about the tatoo on my back... I used to love My Little Pony... wanna make something of it?"

jj said...

Hopefully he doesn't have Sons of Anarchy colors tattooed on his back. Removal will be very painful...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

TATTOO QUIZ: Which area did Klem hand doodle himself while in juvie and which was done by a professional inker during a 3-day drunk in Chinatown?

-OR-

Dear Mary, here's like a cropped headshot of me in the frat. Before I like send the full picture of my bodacious chest, there's like some things I prolly should tell you.... like I have alopecia.

-OR-

Hi Mom, Hi Dad, As you requested, am sending a sample of my freshman (right) and sophomore (left) art projects. Big improvement, don't you think? FYI, Devry Art College has an unorthodox way of saving money on school supplies, esp. paper and canvas.

-OR-

Stu, dude, you were right! I haven't been raped or beaten thanks to those fake tats you drew. My cellmates take one look and start laughing. Some seem to pity me. Day 4, still avoiding the showers. Your pal, Dave.

-OR-

In the art world, this is known as "style juxtaposition" while in the real world he's a poster child for GEICO's "people do dumb things" ad.

Dactyl said...

Man, this guy's navel lint is totally out of control.

Dactyl said...

Larry had the best collection of tchotchkes and doodads in the halfway house.

Anonymous said...

What you don't want to see when you wake up the next morning in a strange place with no memory of how you got there.

prince of leaves said...

Dave only got tats on his upper body and arms, so that the full glory of his amazing one-pack would never be obscured.

prince of leaves said...

"Dammit, I don't CARE how drunk you think I am, I want that 'Gay Cock' design from the wall inked across my forehead NOW!!!"