Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Cleaned Out


1. "Uh, yeah, Hello, Dawn? Listen girl they are all out of malt liquor, you want me to pick you up some fortified wine instead. Now, girl, don't let your head explode, it ain't my fault they's out."

2."No, we ain't caught Rosie O'Donnell yet, but we're getting closer."

3. "I'll have to call you back, we've just reached the Aisle of Obama's Successes."

4. "What? You're a janitor, not a Jew? That's the last time I go to the Obama Dating Service."

5. "Sorry Dawn, they're all out of Butt Closures AND Anal Fantasy."

Best of Dr. Doom
In this scene we see the butt closures aisle at a typical San Francisco Wal-Mart on any given Friday afternoon...

Best of GregMan
"What? You says the flash mob was at 5, not 6? Where I gonna get my groceries now?"

Best of jj
Hello, M'chelle...naw...dey all out of ribs...

Best of dissertation proposal
Hey what was happaning there!

Best of Dr. Doom
"Hey Mom come quick", said LaShaniqua, "They're almost out of hope and change..."

19 comments:

Matt the K said...

"Where all the white drinks at?"

blue said...

"Say What? An Obama victory in 2012 will make this city worse than New Orleans after Katrina? Girl, I'm stocking up!!"

Dr. Doom said...

In this scene we see the butt closures aisle at a typical San Francisco Wal-Mart on any given Friday afternoon...

GregMan said...

"What? You says the flash mob was at 5, not 6? Where I gonna get my groceries now?"

GregMan said...

"Obama ain't gonna pay fo' my gas an' my mortgage? Why I vote for him then?"

jj said...

Damn, when Old Navy haves a sale, they haves dem a sale!

jj said...

Hello, M'chelle...naw...dey all out of ribs...

Submariner said...

Sorry, Flo. M'Chel's Sekert Agen' gots to de Massengills befo' I gots heah. Sumpin' else?

Submariner said...

Nope. Nuthin' left ceptin' Drury's.

Submariner said...

Girl! I'ze tellin' ya dis place be barer dan a 7-11 in de 9th Ward de day affer Katrina...

Anonymous said...

Woman on phone: "Yo, Ho! Lisins! That Asian Males-Man delivered all thems EBTs Cards to them Hixpanix first. They be here first and gone. Aint nothin left. You go axe Leroy to find that Males-Man and beats him till he changes his route to us first! Yeah, just like the video, bitch, I still has lots of the O'stash to swipes off my my EBT!"

-Oiao

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Yeah, Maurice he's grabbin da bottled water. Dem white cashiers always ax him why he uses food stamps stead of drinking plain ol'tap water. He'll make his mean prison face and say, "Whatchu think I's be, frugal?" Den deys both laughs and laughs.

-OR-

Hellooo?
Robot Voice: There's a special on Ebony hair straightener on aisle 3!!
I HATES spam! And how'd dat shelf know I wuz black?

dissertation proposal said...

Hey what was happaning there!

Censors Hip said...

"...& when I axed the janitor for help he said he was a jew not a janitor and wanted to know if I was from Wyoming of all places...I be confused....

Dr. Doom said...

"Hey Mom come quick", said LaShaniqua, "They're almost out of hope and change..."

dub said...

LaShawnda!! They been a run on the Kool Aid at the Piggly Wiggly!!! HEP ME HEP ME!!


wv: derap....you're making this too easy Blogspot.

dadoctah said...

A little glimpse of things to come for you incandescent-bulb fans.

Rodney Dill said...

"Yep, that damn Flotus done cleaned us out."

White Castle Slider said...

"Hey Antwowahn... don't bother filling the wheelbarrow with $50 bills, somebody already got the last case of WEIMAR SPRING WATER!"