Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Book 'em, Schneider


1. "But Big Tits are not a crime! Big tits are not a crime!"

2. "Just promise you won't lock me up with big muscly horny black men... you lousy fascist pig."

3. The cooperation of law enforcement made 'Kick a Ginger Day' a huge success.

4. "Nice dye job, Mr. Favre. Now, let me remind you of the terms of the restraining order."

5. "Unit 4 here. Tell Tom Brady we caught the guy who was yelling 'Take it off! Take it off!'"

Best of Rodney Dill
"Piss on you... I'm working for Mel Brooks."

Best of mpur
Big tits are not a crime. Being a ginger, however.....

Best of GregMan
Man, band camp just gets rowdier every year.

Best of USMC2841
"Leave Britney Alone!!!!!!!"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Collegiate flash mobbing results in Dean Wormer banning cell phones and iPods from stadium events.

Best of USMC2841
Relax sir. It's just a standard TSA pat down.

Best of jj
Damn, the Lions win one game and the whole town riots...

Best of Vinneh
Boy that Madden 2012 video game is getting a bit too violent!

Best of Dr. Doom
"Looks like you're about to star in someone's anal fantasy buddy", said the lineman...

Best of Submariner
"Nightstick!"
"NIGHTSTICK!"
"Fer the love of Gaia, wasn't 'nightstick' the safe word?"

Best of VInneh
Chaz Bono arrested at Super Bowl. News at 11."

37 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

"Hey... 61 gets 15 yards for taunting."

Rodney Dill said...

"Piss on you... I'm working for Mel Brooks."

Rodney Dill said...

"SERENITY NOW!!! SERENITY NOW!!!

Rodney Dill said...

"...but, hey, have you heard about Ron Paul?"

mpur said...

Big tits are not a crime. Being a ginger, however.....

Rodney Dill said...

Playing "Deuling Banjos" at half time turned out to be not such a good idea.

Rodney Dill said...

61: "Yep, looks like another wide receiver."

Rodney Dill said...

61: "PENIS GOOD TIME NOW"

Rodney Dill said...

"No the play is 'Red dog' not "Red corndog.'"

GregMan said...

Man, band camp just gets rowdier every year.

Rodney Dill said...

"No, no, it's really a butterfly closure."

GregMan said...

I see someone else didn't get off the lawn in time.

USMC2841 said...

"Leave Britney Alone!!!!!!!"

GregMan said...

#AttackWatch claims it's first victim.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

No blood, no fires? This can't be a British Rugby match.

-OR-

No Guts No Glory
Considering the ratio of hooligans to cops, it'd be amusing if - just once - we saw the miscreants cuff all the cops, depants them, and then quietly retire to their dorms.

-OR-

Collegiate flash mobbing results in Dean Wormer banning cell phones and iPods from stadium events.

USMC2841 said...

Relax sir. It's just a standard TSA pat down.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

On the heels of ATF's Mexican Sting screw up, TSA foolishly challenges disgruntled passengers to rush the guards at an airport terminal boarding gate in the premier of a new FOX reality show-
Dumb Ass Bureaucrats

Rodney Dill said...

"KOBE!"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Don't TAZE me bro!! oooooh Don't TAZE me bro!!"

-OR-

Pandemonium ensues when fans suspected of spelling out EAT BEEF during half-time at the Vegan Salsa Bowl are rounded up by PETA security.

dub said...

Carrot Top has really let himself go.

jj said...

Damn, the Lions win one game and the whole town riots...

jj said...

#61, "Say hi to Bubba in the shower-room tonight"...

jj said...

Carl Weathers' voice-over, "Here we go!"

Anonymous said...

Boy that Madden 2012 video game is getting a bit too violent!

Vinneh

Dr. Doom said...

"Looks like you're about to star in someone's anal fantasy buddy", said the lineman...

Submariner said...

"Nightstick!"
"NIGHTSTICK!"
"Fer the love of Gaia, wasn't 'nightstick' the safe word?"

Submariner said...

"The Longest Yard" is what's gonna get slipped between yer cheeks tonight after lights out, boy..."

Submariner said...

I'll check on you tomorrow to see if your STILL a tight end...

Submariner said...

"I'd start getting ready now for the 'Jail Break Blitz' what'll be coming your way long about 2 am..."

Kaptain Krude said...

ORA: "Now go away, or I shall have to taunt you a second time!"

Rodney Dill said...

"There is no cake... there is no ice cream... Happy Birthday!"

Anonymous said...

Chaz Bono arrested at Super Bowl. News at 11."

Vinneh

Steve O said...

When an opposing teams fan gets tazed, it's common courtesy to gloat.

Dr. Doom said...

"I have a pack of butt closures in my locker", said Number 61, "looks like you're going to need them tonight"...

Dr. Doom said...

"Oh no mister, I'm 61", said Bubba, "there are 38 more after me"...

Kaptain Krude said...

Man on ground: "Hey, you're getting grass stains on my shorts! I got them half-off!"
#61: "Don't worry, sugar, we'll have them all the way off in just a minute!"
...and that's when the screaming began in earnest.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Devry University Commercial:
Officer Jenkins earned 12 credits towards his Physiotherapy Chiropractic masters degree simply by brutally manhandling and handcuffing 1 extra innocent person a day!