1. Police rapidly broke up the latest demonstration by "Muffintops not Bombs."
2. Simultaneous body cavity searches and breast exams; an example of the Obama Regime's "Compassionate Fascism Initiative."
3. LaKeisha didn't really enjoy being the "mean black cop" in the fantasies of middle-aged hippie lesbians... but in this economy, any job would do.
4. Surprisingly, the first white folks sent to the Re-Education Camps after Obama was re-elected were Sally Jessie Raphael and Julianne Moore.
5. "Nope, not real. Not spectacular."
Best of mega
Visiting blue states is getting a lot harder these days.
Best of Whacko
"If'n you gots any of them Gibson guitars stashed away, better tell us now or we gonna sweat it out of you down at the station house."
Best of Submariner
Not real; twenty five dollar silicone tax...
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Elsie, if you don't stop saying, "This glove's from the Playtex Lift & Separate collection" I swear I'm gonna zap you with my Taser.
Best of jj
Cop on radio, "Tell the White House I got the white wimmen".