Divine Miss M
(It's Sinead O'Connor)
Captions from an Ugly Chick Thread at AoSHQ
1. She was so ugly as a baby, her mom had to feed her with a slingshot.
2. She's so ugly, that when she went to the zoo, the guard said: "Thanks for bringing her back."
3. She's so ugly that when she tried to enter an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."
4. She's so ugly that when she goes to the bank they turn off the surveilance cameras.
5. She's so ugly that when she checks into a hotel, she's required to post an additional deposit for possible carpet cleaning.
Best of USMC2841
She's so ugly Big Foot comes out of the woods to take pictures of her.
Best of metalgarth
Rumor has it the prom was cancelled in fear that she was someone's date.
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Ethel was disappointed with her 3rd Place finish in the Televangelist Idol contest.
Best of Spin
The Pope wasn't all that 'tore-up' since Sinead let herself go.
Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
She's so ugly that Lemmiwinks was refused to enter.
Best of Censors Hip
That women so ugly the pope tore up her picture.
Best of Rodney Dill
...and just after 10 weeks of attending the Hillary Clinton School of Beauty.
Best of Rodney Dill
"What hump?"
Best of GregMan
Rosie O'donnell finds religion. Religion runs away screaming.
Best of Matt the K
It's been seven hours and fifteen years
Since you took my mirror away
I eat out every night and sleep all day
Since you took my scale away...
Best of divine miss m
My new diet includes an 8 x 10 glossy of this on the fridge door and a wallet-size on every pint of Ben & Jerry's.
Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
It's over, it's over!!! The fat lady is singing!!
43 comments:
Mmmmm... I'd use that roll right there under the cross. Juicy. Juicy.
WV:dogis (No. I am NOT kidding)
She's so ugly Big Foot comes out of the woods to take pictures of her.
Rumor has it the prom was cancelled in fear that she was someone's date.
Taking a page from VtheK's success, the church leaders launched Beer Belly/Muffin Top Sundays.
-OR-
David Attenborough anxiously whispers: I'm hoping this is just a freak coincidence, and not a sign that the creature caught in the purple deep sea net spawned.
Sorry! We seem to have had a slight wardrobe malfunction-
David Attenborough anxiously whispers: I'm hoping this is just a freak coincidence, and not a sign that what was caught in the purple deep sea net spawned.
Betsy claims the cross must work because she's never even seen a vampire. Vampires we spoke with have a different explanation.
-OR-
Mr. Blackwell's 2011 Worst Dressed Women's List will continue just as soon as Richard finishes with the airsick bag.
-OR-
Ethel was disappointed with her 3rd Place finish in the Televangelist Idol contest.
-OR-
The new Salvation Army uniform was met with mixed reviews.
Get thy self to a nunnery.
The Pope wasn't all that 'tore-up' since Sinead let herself go.
Pray she doesn't name you in the paternity suite.
Extreme ORA: Andrew Ridgley's latest attempt at a solo career has gone about as well as George Micheal's latest latest stint in rehab.
Nothing Compares To Moo
Pope John Paul II laughs from high above.
She's so ugly, that...
....her birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory.
....when she looks in the mirror, the reflection looks back shaking it's head.
....even the elephant man paid to see her.
....she didn't get hit with the ugly stick, she got hit with the ugly log.
....people hang her picture in their cars so their radios don't get stolen.
....even the tide won't take her out.
....when she got in the tub, the water jumped out.
....she could scare Cujo off a meat truck.
....even Bill Clinton wouldn't sleep with her.
....the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
....
She's so ugly that Lemmiwinks was refused to enter.
make that-
She's so ugly that Lemmiwinks refused to enter.
That women so ugly the pope tore up her picture.
Can we just move on to Thursday?
...and just after 10 weeks of attending the Hillary Clinton School of Beauty.
"I... ate... a baby...."
"What hump?"
Hasn't she Amy Whinehoused yet?
(too soon?)
Meet the newest Bishop of the Episcopal Church...
Hasn't she Amy Whinehoused yet?
(too soon?)
Nah, that jokes has been 5 years in the making.
Rosie O'donnell finds religion. Religion runs away screaming.
Animal Planet's "Finding Bigfoot" takes a surprising turn.
It's been seven hours and fifteen years
Since you took my mirror away
I eat out every night and sleep all day
Since you took my scale away...
Never thought I would long for the days of a shaved head.
George Lucas unveils a Darth Vader from an alternate universe in Star Wars Spaceballs or "Don't drop your schwartz in the shower!"
She can't be that ugly, she's wearing about two grand worth of gold around her neck.
Cruel, people, cruel.
"ALELHUUUUIAH, ALELUUUUIAH!"
Bald is beautiful
My new diet includes an 8 x 10 glossy of this on the fridge door and a wallet-size on every pint of Ben & Jerry's.
She's so ugly that when she took a tour of the White House, obama was heard screaming, "M'chelle, they put too much chlorine in the pool again?"
It's over, it's over!!! The fat lady is singing!!
"And while I challenged my good friend Rick Santorum on abortion, Chris, I also think Cain and Ron Paul had good points."
Oddly, she placed third, and no one disagreed.
When she hangs her underwear out to dry, the neighbors lose an hour's daylight
She's so ugly that when Jani Lane saw her... HE DIED! What too soon?
She's so ugly that when (some other random celebrity) saw her they DIED TOO to complete the Amy Winehouse, Jani Lane trifecta. What! too soon?
"I beat anorexia, and you can too!"
WV: thour - how lemonth tathte...
Lilith Faire Hootenanny
-OR-
Female Priest or Satan's Spawn?
You may find it difficult to stop staring at the gut, but check out the red eyes!
WordVerify: hanchop - What you could find in a clumsy butcher's display case
Meet Beulah Kardashian, the sister nobody talks about.
"Why don't the other 49 states take our Straw Poll seriously?"
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