1. "Yes, I'm quite sure I'll be dead in a moment, but the fashion statement of wearing my large intestine as a hat was most irresistible."
2. "I saw Mrs. Obama had made the curtains into a dress, so I grabbed some of the rope line and, voila!"
3."Our. Visit. To. The. Brain. Parasite. Planet. Was. Uneventful. Would. You. Like. To. Try. On. My. Hat."
4. "One last hat splurge before the burqa, as they say."
5. NHS announced today that in a cost-saving measure, people with inoperable brain tumors would no longer be given surgery, but instead would be given lively hats to make them feel better."
Best of jj
Aretha Franklin's lawyers were not amused and threatened to sue...
Best of sonicfrog
ORA: Apparently, Johnathan could have also made it into a pterodactyl if he so desired.
Best of Submariner
Whispered; "The Duke of Weatherford just laughed at me; said you looked as if you were wearing King Kongs c0ck ring on your noggin. TOLD you so before we left the castle. But would you listen?"
Best of GregMan
Lady Smith-Smyth-Smith tried so hard to make sense of Obama's new jobs program that her brain spurted right out of her skull.
Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
This year's theme at Derby: Salute to the I.U.D.
Best of Rodney Dill
...and then Princess Beatrice's head exploded.
Best of Dr. Doom
In an unfortunate mix up, Billy Bob and Ethyl Smith got the invitation meant for Sir William and Lady Smythe. Everything went smashingly until Billy Bob got out his lawn darts...
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
I rather like a woman who wears her heart on her sleeve... but not the kind who wears her intestines on her head.
Best of dadoctah
When Trek memes collide: the alien woman with oddly-shaped bumps on her head meets the never-before-seen red-shirted crewman in the landing party.
Best of Spin
Tim Burton's mother spends a day at the races.
Best of dadoctah
Why topology and millinery don't mix.