Saturday, August 13, 2011
The Things We Used to Do on Grass
1. "What a crock. There were no auditions for South Pacific. I hate freshman hazing week."
2. "Look, I'm sorry I didn't know the Avalon Ballroom had a dress code.We'll just go home and play WoW or something."
3. Barney Frank lamented the end of the House Page program, but at least there would be one last luau.
4. "You might wanna start running. Old Man Sullivan is gettin' out his Weed Whacker."
5. "... the really disappointing part is we still didn't get the Klondike bar."
Best of prince of leaves
Creatively bankrupt Hollywood's latest retread of the "fish out of water" plot motif involved albino headhunters relocated to suburban San Diego.
Best of blue
"Are we Pacific Islanders or Kenyans??"
"Don't know dude, either way we're racist!"
Best of Double the U
So then I said, "She'll never swallow an entire foot long corn dog in one bite!" and I made this bet... and so here we are.
Best of Silhouette
But, because they had V's, all the V-Chested Sneetches
Would brag, “We’re the best kind of Sneetch on the beaches.”
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
I can't help wondering if the residents of Chicago's South Side are going to fully appreciate the ORA of our Gilligan's Island Halloween costumes.
Best of Banana Republican
This way to Army of Mom's Luau
Best of Vinneh
Now that Don't Ask Don't Tell has been repealed a couple of Hawaiian National Guard troops show up for their monthly drill.
Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
No Ted. I DON'T think they would have let us in if I "woulda just painted a V on my chest too," so will you just freakin' drop it?
Best of USMC2841
No way dude. I'm the Gilligan that saved Mary Ann from headhunters. You can be the Gilligan that saved Mrs. Howell.
Best of Rodney Dill
"So why is your screen name Corndog?"
"I'll explain later."
Best of Submariner
Why did that Dawn lady's head blow up when I explained we're "spear-chuckers?"